Brown River Queen cover art

Sunday, April 21, 2013

This Week in Pictures

Welcome back!

I thought after the horrors of this week you might enjoy seeing something pretty. So let's begin with some photos I just took, out on the porch, of the azalea bushes we planted around our porch several years ago.


These azalea bushes have proven to be utterly indestructible. We do water them through the hot dry months of August and September, but other than that, they require no care. They bloomed out Tuesday or Wednesday, mostly white, although there are a few red flowers.


Here's what the whole east end bed looks like. I guess the red plants decided to bloom white:


While I was taking the pics, I noticed a bumblebee busily buzzing (see what I did there?) about, and I managed to coax him into posing:


He's probably still out there, bumbling away. I've always liked bumblebees. They've never tried to sting me, and I admire their work ethic. I don't share it, but I do admire it.


Next up, my current steampunk gun project. This one isn't quite finished, but here's what I have so far.


And the other side:


This is actually a cheap water gun, some PVC water pipe, a few odds and ends of wire, a couple of springs, three washers, and a bit of old hose.




A lot of you have probably seen this next item. It's one of my wands. Specifically, it's from Meralda's Royal Laboratory, marked 'Wand 116, Type II Non-Linear Discharge, Do Not Store Next To Type IV or Type VII.'



The image immediately above isn't blurry because I was too lazy to unfold the camera tripod. No. It's just impossible to take a clear photograph of a charged Lysson module without an aether compositor filter, and I lost mine in Moria.

It's springtime here in Mississippi, which means the snakes are shuffling off their winter coats and the frogs are getting the band back together. I was struck with how early the critters have emerged from their winter quarters this year, so when I found myself out on the patio while Fletcher took a midnight bathroom break I made a recording of the night sounds here. My Zoom H1 mic did a marvelous job of capturing the midnight cacaphony, and I'm pleased to share the recording with you now. It's short -- only a minute -- and best heard if you crank up the volume a bit. No, I didn't stick any loud noises at the end to scare you, because that's an old tired trick by now.

Give it a listen, it sounds like the jungle!

Midnight on the Patio

One night I hope to capture the local coyote pack in full-on howl mode. It will lift the hairs on the back of your neck, I promise you!

In writing news, well, I've been writing. The Five Faces is galloping along without a hitch, and at this rate I'll be done with it and deep into the new Meralda and Mug book All the Turns of Light very soon. Well before that, you'll see a short story penned by Mug himself right here in the blog; he's already pestering me to get it posted, as he's convinced Hollywood will trip over itself in its haste to make a movie of his 'undiscovered genius.'

I warned Meralda about getting Mug a Netflix subscription, but...

By the way, anyone interested in communicating directly with Meralda or Mug can do so on Facebook. All the Paths of Shadow has its own FB page, and both Mug and Meralda post there. So drop by and say hello -- Mug is always happy to talk. And talk. And talk...

I'll leave you tonight with a brief excerpt from The Five Faces.


 Darla met me at our door. She had flour on the tip of her nose and a revolver in her right hand.

“Welcome home,” she said, smiling. “I’ve baked us a pie!”

“Did you shoot it before or after you rolled the crust?” I kissed her. It happens sometimes.

“Before, silly,” she said. She wrinkled her nose. “You’ve been somewhere unsavory.”

“Duty demanded that I carouse and cavort on the docks,” I said. We made our way to the kitchen, where supper lay waiting on the stove and a peach pie baked in the oven. “This is the earthy aroma of the noble working man.”

“I can’t picture you cavorting,” she said. “Do you start off with your left foot, or your right?”

Tiny feet scampered across our roof.

The neighbors have squirrels. We have a banshee.

Darla’s smile died. “She’s been up there since dark.” She opened the oven and pulled out a tray of cookies. “I’ve been trying to coax her inside, but she won’t come.”

Buttercup, our resident banshee, is the size and shape of a pre-teen girl who hasn’t enjoyed many good meals. Darla’s fresh-baked sugar cookies are her favorite, and the mere scent of them usually brings her inside in a hurry.

I hugged Darla. Having a banshee walk the roof when your spouse is out working a case can’t be the best way to pass an evening at home.

“She’s probably just playing with her head-bone,” I said. “Anyway, look, I’m here, and all in one piece.”

The scampering on the roof stopped. Tiny bare feet ran into the kitchen, and skinny arms hugged my waist.

Banshees don’t bother with doors.

“Hello, Buttercup,” I said, tousling her ragged mop of golden hair. “Darla made you cookies.”

Buttercup squealed and leaped. Cookies began vanishing in a veritable hail of crumbs.

“That’s hot, honey,” said Darla. Buttercup snatched up another one and crammed it in her already-full mouth, grinning.

There might be things out there capable of injuring Buttercup.  Old magics. Powerful sorcerers. Eldritch spells. Hot cookies, though, aren’t on the list.

Darla began uncovering pans. I helped by getting in the way and received a playful slap on my hand when I dared grab one of Buttercup’s cookies.

Finally, we sat and ate. Darla fries a mean pork chop. We had corn and green beans and a big fat potato each. Buttercup finished off the cookies and then amused herself by playing peek-a-boo with the whispering skull she carries.

“Gertriss came by earlier,” said Darla, as she put down her fork.

You live with a woman long enough, you learn to recognize the subtle difference between a casual conversation and a conversation that only sounds casual but can veer off into the significant at any word.

“Let me guess.”

Darla laced her fingers together and rested her chin on them. “She said you left this morning looking for an awful man named Hurry-up Pete and returned in the employ of a pair of street kids who’ve lost their dog.”

“I believe in maintaining a diverse range of clientele.”

“So this wasn’t some elaborate prank you played on Mama Hog?”

“Nope. A man in a wide-brimmed hat who spoke with a strange accent cut the leash a little blind girl named Saffy was holding. The man took her dog Cornbread, and Saffy’s brother is going to work off the debt working in our yard this summer.”

Darla smiled. “And Hurry-up Pete?”

“I’ll tell the clients what I know. Refund half their advance. They’ll either find Hurry-up, or they won’t, but I’ll not be a part of it. Not this time. Not anymore.”

Silence, save for Buttercup’s unintelligible murmurings and her skull’s equally cryptic whispered replies.

“That’s why I love you,” said Darla, at last. She rose and came and kissed me.

Later, we ate that pie. Best damned pie I ever had.





Sunday, April 14, 2013

Sidekick Sunday

Greetings, gentle readers!

Today sees the start of a new feature here on the blog. I'm going to call it Sidekick Sunday, so when you see those words in the title you should know you'll be treated to a new, original short story told from the point-of-view of one of the  supporting characters in one of my two main series.

Today you get The Swindled Jenny, an original short (4000 words or so) told by none other than Mama Hog herself. Links to the story in various formats will follow; I've got a Web version, a plain Word document, a PDF file, and a Kindle ebook ready for download and sideload, at your convenience.

But first, a few other bits of news.



Anyone wanting a printed copy of All the Paths of Shadow is in luck, because the new print version is up for sale on Amazon! Click here for the new print version, or here for the Kindle edition.

All the Paths of Shadow has seen a sudden surge in popularity. It sold nearly 500 Kindle copies in a single night, last month. I mean sold, too. No freebie special, no free borrowing, we're talking straight-up sales here, in the wee hours, with no omens preceding. Which is a great event, and I'm thrilled -- I just wish I knew what triggered the surge, because I'd like to bottle it for later use.

Anyway, if you've been looking for a print copy, look no further! All the Paths of Shadow is once again available in print, and all you have to do is click.



Brown River Queen is also for sale, if you're looking for more Markhat. Not in print yet, but it's coming. I'll let you know when it hits the stands.

On a side note, I'm now trying to juggle work on the new Markhat, The Five Faces, with work on the new Meralda and Mug, called All the Turns of Light. Writing two books at once is something I've never tried, mainly because I'm not a conjoined set of twins, but it's going better than I expected. Sure I sometimes forget and put Mug on Markhat's desk and write Mama Hog into Meralda's laboratory, but that's what I get for staying up extra late to catch up on The Daily Show.

A couple of people have emailed asking about Fletcher, our diabetic doggie. I'm happy to report that he's doing fine, and is happy, and is coping with his loss of most of his vision quite well. His hair has grown back, and he's resumed all of his old habits, including 'talking' to us with grunts and marking the arrival of mealtimes with spirited barking and dancing.

Now, it's time for the first installment of Sidekick Sunday!

Tonight features The Swindled Jenny, a Mama Hog story which I hope you'll enjoy.

For anyone unfamiliar with the series, Mama Hog is the protagonist Markhat's neighbor. Mama claims to be a hundred and twenty five years old, and she makes her living telling fortunes and dispensing advice from her ramshackle card and potion shop in the heart of Rannit.

In this story, Mama does much more than merely dispense advice. No, her client has been wronged, and Mama takes offense, and -- well, choose your format, and see for yourself. Click the link, and you should see a list of files. The first is a mobi file, which can be downloaded and then put on your Kindle device. The next is a PDF version -- just click and download. The next is a plain Web file, which you should be able to read just by clicking. Finally, there is a Word document, which should download with a click.

I hope you enjoy it!

List of Story Formats for THE SWINDLED JENNY

That's all for today. Take care, people! See you all around the bookstore!



Sunday, April 7, 2013

A Bad Case of Vietnamese Swamp Stomach

Ugh.

This week's blog entry will be brief. I'll spare you the details, but a lot of staring into the bottom of a toilet bowl is involved.

More you don't want to know.

I had planned to feature a new, never-before-published short story narrated by none other than Mama Hog herself today. But I don't trust my ability to arrange words competently. For instance, the preceding sentence originally read 'Mama hog story narrates colon, frees the threadbare geese', so finishing and editing anything more complicated than this blog entry that will have to wait until next week.

The Mama Hog story, which is nearly complete, is entitled "The Swindled Jenny," and I think you'll enjoy Mama's version of just desserts.

After that, Mug will have his turn, in a regular feature of the blog called 'Sidekick Sundays.'

But for now, I'm going to slink back downstairs and rest.

The only silver lining to all this, I suppose, is that I actually put on and zipped a leather jacket I bought around 1984. Yes, that's correct, 1984. The last time I tried it on, I couldn't bring the front within eight inches of closing, much less of zipping.

And now I'll be wearing it as my retro motorcycle jacket. It'll also come in handy if I turn into a zombie and need to take part in a Michael Jackson zombie 'Thriller' dance, because baby this jacket ROCKS the 80s.

Let me close with a shameless plea -- if you've had a chance to finish the new Markhat, Brown River Queen, and you liked it, please drop me a review on Amazon. I'd really appreciate it.








Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Bonus Tuesday Blog: New Release by Maria Schneider!


I don't often blog on Tuesday, but when I do, I blog about Maria Schneider's Witch Moon series.

And this particular Tuesday is special because the new Witch Moon book is out!



Entitled Under Witch Curse, this is the third book in the With Moon series. The first two books are:

Under Witch Moon

Under Witch Aura

I love these books. The heroine, Adriel, is well-drawn and engaging, the plots are snappy and fluid, and the writing is top-notch. Too, for a Mississippi boy, the modern-day Santa Fe setting is exotic enough to make the series truly memorable.

So check out the series, and if you already know it, the new one is out!




Sunday, March 31, 2013

More From my Muse

As you know -- primarily because I haven't shut up about it -- my new Markhat book Brown River Queen  was released last Tuesday.

Response so far has been wonderful. I've gotten a number of emails from readers who liked the book. Sales are brisk. BRQ is poised to emerge as the most popular entry in the series thus far.

Still, I was surprised when my Muse, the plain-spoken Visavarevagsitaga (Ancient Mesopotamian goddess of pointed sticks, argumentative hedgehogs, and minor waterways) added her own missive to the congratulatory emails.

I've posted her letter below.

Date:  Sat, 30 Mar 2013 10:51:23 -0600 [12:51:23 PM EST]
From:  Visavarevagsitaga <Visavarevagsitaga@ancientwritingmuses.org>
To:  franktuttle@franktuttle.com
Subject:  REQUIRED CONGRATULATORY STATEMENT

Dear Whatsyourname,

In accordance with the Statutes, Policies, and Best Practices of the Amalgamated League of Muses, I am sending you this official Letter of Congratulations on the publication of your new novel/play/epic poem/other fictional work (select one), which is entitled (insert title of Work here). 

We wish you every success in this artistic endeavor BLAH BLAH BLAH, we hope our contributions to the creative process were BLAH BLAH BLAH.

There are another two paragraphs of like-minded claptrap but oops I deleted them both.

I did you a favor and picked up a copy of the book (Frown River Cake or whatever it is) but my copy must be defective because nowhere on the cover or in the dedication is the Holy Sacred name of Visavarevagsitaga mentioned as co-author. 

Even more inexplicable is the delay in my first royalty check, which I am QUITE SURE is on the way, because IF IT ISN'T some very agitated Egyptian Nile toads are going to be turning up in some UNEXPECTED PLACES. Hint hint, monkey boy. Need a I send a plague of biting flies to spell it all out?

Just to be clear, I expect no less than 20% of the cover and half of any foreign language sales and half of any future merchandising, praise be to My name and when I say 'biting flies' I mean 'flies easily capable of biting off both ears.' 

So, now that we're friends again -- we ARE friends again, aren't we? -- I have a few comments (three specific observations are required by the Statutes, Policies, and Best Practices of the Amalgamated League of Muses) concerning your work, Drown Shiver Mean.

1) It is a book, written in modern English. Yay you for making that bold stylistic choice. One mandated observation down.
2) The book features dark letters on a light page. Again, way to push the envelope. Moron.
3) Individual chapters are denoted by chapter breaks. That's three. Somebody get me a latte.

This concludes my mandated congratulatory communication. I see you are already working on a new book. If I can talk you out of continuing let me know, otherwise please toil in silent obscurity.

Best,

Her High Holiness and Exalted Divinity Visavarevagsitaga, Blessed of All, Goddess of Time and Space, 34th Level Muse (Extended Associate), Amalgamated League of Muses.

PS Stop calling Mama Hog's hair 'wild,' find a thesaurus and use it, idiot.
________________________________________________________________


Judging by her past emails, I take it my Muse is both in an unusually good mood and is warming up to me.

At least I haven't had any frogs show up in my coffee this week.

For any new readers of the Markhat series, let me take a moment here and suggest an order in which the books can be read.

First of all, you've got your early adventures, which are all standalone tales in which order doesn't really make any difference at all. These are:

The Mister Trophy

The Cadaver Client

Dead Man's Rain

All of which were combined in the print-only anthology The Markhat Files.



After the first three, I suggest you read as follows:

Hold the Dark

The Banshee's Walk

The Broken Bell

And finally, the new one, which is of course Brown River Queen.



If you want print versions of Hold the Dark, The Banshee's Walk, or The Broken Bell, no problem, click on the links in this sentence!




Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Bonus Tuesday Blog: BROWN RIVER QUEEN Release party!


It's Tuesday, March 26, and that can mean only one thing....

Yes, okay, it is time to renew my truck tag. So make that two things, with the most important being this:

BROWN RIVER QUEEN is now on sale!

You can get it from Amazon here, or from Barnes & Noble here, or from direct from the publisher in any format you please by going to Samhain Publishing.

I'd like to take a moment to thank Holly, my editor at Samhain, for all her hard work and enthusiasm on the project. Heck, thanks to everyone at Samhain, who are always a pleasure to work with!

I really hope you enjoy the book, which is the latest installment in the Markhat series. There are gamblers and vampires and guns and ghouls, all on a riverboat steaming toward certain doom.

I'm off to a signing at Barnes & Noble in Oxford. So from Mama Hog, Markhat, Darla, Evis, Gertriss, and of course Buttercup the banshee, safe sailing!




Sunday, March 24, 2013

Live From MidSouthCon 31: Update #4, the Darrell Awards

I'm not often left speechless, no matter how many people fervently wish for that singular event.

The outcome of this year's Darrell Awards did manage to silence me completely for a brief but indeterminate time.

I was nominated for two pieces -- Saving the Sammi for best short story, and The Broken Bell for best novel.

Before I go any further, let me talk about the competition. I say competetion only in the broadest sense of the word, because none of us has any desire to 'beat' the other guy (or gal). We're all authors, slugging it out in the trenches I believe we all want the best for each other.

So, to my friends Jimmy GillentineSteve Bradshaw, and Aaron Drown (also known as the inimitable A.christopher Drown), I was honored to be in your company.

You should read these guys. Here are their works:

Bluff City Butcher, by Steve Bradshaw. Steve was a CSI investigator in Texas for many years, and his stories of mayhem and murder will curl your hair. His book is not be missed!

Night at Death's Door by Jimmy Gillentine. There are some dicey night clubs in Memphis -- but none dicier than the one the vampires favor! Check it out -- but be prepared to pay a very special cover at the door.

A Game of None Magic By A.Christopher Drown. Epic fantasy with a Southern accent! First of series, with the rest soon to come.

I really enjoyed meeting you guys or catching up. Steve's tales of high-speed impacts and down-home stabbings were especially enjoyable, because I'm a seriously weird guy.

Being included amid such a talented bunch made the presentation of the Darrell Awards for Saving the Sammi and The Broken Bell a truly humbling event.

My thanks to the Darrell Awards jury, for their consideration and efforts during the year!

Now, because I can't resist, the Awards themselves...



Thanks again folks!

Live From Midsouthcon 31: Update #3


Con are full of surprises, in that you never know who you'll meet.

MidSouthCon 31 was no exception. Among the attendees was the crew from Expedition Unknown, a paranormal investigations group based in the Midsouth.


From left to right, Expedition Unknown is Andy Brisendine, Stephen Guenther, and Tanya Vandesteeg. Andy acts as tech manager, photographer, and videographer. Stephen, Lead Investigator, is an experienced paranormal sleuth whose investigations have taken him to such far-flung sites as Stonehenge. Lead Investigator Tanya does extensive site research and debunking, among many other duties. You can catch Tanya's podcast "Live From the Multiverse" each Thursday at 8:00 PM at http://www.tmvcafe.com/.

We sat in on three panels hosted by Expedition Unknown, and each was a blast. Andy and I use the same microphone (a Zoom H1) and we all share a fascination with EVP phenomena. Plus, they're all friendly smart cool people with a genuine interest in local cryptids and other paranormal happenings.

If you're in this area and you ever encounter bumps in the night that you believe warrant a visit from the professionals, I recommend the Expedition Unknown crew!

They also offer classes and live field investigations. You can see and hear their evidence on their YouTube channel, and I cannot wait to slap on my headphones and dive into that myself.

Again, their website is Expedition Unknown. It is well worth a thorough look!



Live From MidSouthCon 31 Update #2


The Con is still underway here in Memphis, and everyone is having a blast.

So far I've met a number of talented authors, amazing artists, and equally amazing fans. I've been on a ghost hunt with the crew from Expedition Unknown, been on a panel, watched in awe as the Drunkest Fanboy in the World struggled to maintain a rough approximation of bipedalism, and won not one but two Darrell Awards. 

The Expedition Unknown crew and the Darrell Awards get their own posts, to follow shortly. 

Now, though, let's see some pictures!

No SF/fantasy con is complete without a Klingon or two. This year, I spied a Klingon with a familiar face beneath the brow-ridges. I even put up his picture a couple of years ago, when he was a roving but cordial zombie:


This year, he shed his shamble for the more menacing look of a Klingon warrior.


Despite only knowing a single word of Klingon (graak, which means 'You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?) I asked the mighty Klingon for an interview.


Meeting people such as Frank is what makes the Con scene so much fun. I know the media loves to poke fun at us in their minute-and-a-half segments between Sports and Weather, but there are some genuinely fascinating and articulate people behind the masks. 

Speaking of masks, here are a few more of the many cosplayers at this year's Con!


I love the way this Tusken raider is being photo-bombed by an Old Republic stormtrooper. 


They're serious about pedicures on Altair VI.


This is how I see all clowns.


Stormtroopers!


Stormtroopers after one too many Pan Galactic Gargles Blasters at the Mos Eisley spaceport bar.


Steampunk Lives!


Old Republic Stormtroopers, and friend.


The Black Widow!


Breathless Mahoney


The Hilton at midnight

More to come!



Thursday, March 21, 2013

Live From MidSouthCon 31 Update #1


MidSouthCon 31 is underway here in Memphis, Tennessee, and your roving reporter is right in the middle of it.

This year's Con is hosting the biggest crowd I remember seeing. The guest list is pretty impressive this year, and I'm sure that's a big part of the draw.

After arriving at the Con, getting checked in, and finding the nearest bar, I began my series of in-depth interviews with Con attendees. Being a bold soul, I simply turned to the first pretty woman I saw and asked for an interview. She not only agreed, but later accompanied me to my hotel room. Her picture and interview is below:



One of the great things about any Con is the Dealer Room. There you can find just about anything -- SF and fantasy prop art, books, comics, and of course art. 

We picked up an piece of original art by Levi White. Levi uses spray paint to create some really stunning and unusual pieces, such as ours, shown below:




In keeping with my newfound habit of sticking a Zoom H1 microphone in the faces of strangers, I begged Levi for an interview, and you can listen to it by clicking the link:


Levi can (and should) be reached via email at artbylevi@hotmail.com. He does everything from superheroes to Star Trek to Dr. Who, and his prices are so affordable starving authors can afford them!

Artist Levi White and muse
When you think of cons, you might not also think of music. But MidSouthCon has a house band, and they are Order of Tyr!



Here they are in the Dealer's Room, many hours before their first Friday evening show. I picked up their new album, Tearing Reality Asunder, and they were also kind enough to speak to me after I made it clear I was fully capable of rolling on the floor and screaming if my request for an interview was denied. 


The Order plays a powerful, straight-ahead blend of heavy metal, hard rock, electronic, and prog-rock, all blended with fantasy themes and lyrics. You can check them out further by hitting their webpage, VideoGameMetal!

Costumes and cosplayers. I know that's what you want to see, so let's open with the best of the Con so far. I give you <drumroll please> The Black Widow!



Regular Con-goers will recognize Alex as the 'Catwoman Cosplayer,' who graces MidSouthCon and several othyers with her beautiful costumes every year. This year, she's at MidSouthCon as The Black Widow, and she was kind enough to grant me an interview:


You can find Alex on Facebook here. Stop by her page and give her a like!

And now, for a more or less random series of Con images:



That was just yesterday afternoon. More to come!