tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57839464703605798232024-03-14T03:08:36.051-05:00Frank's Rotating Lighted Blog of Considerable MassFantasy author Frank Tuttle's ruminations, rants, and ramblings on matters sundry and varied.Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.comBlogger424125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-2366123780005363722017-03-12T16:40:00.001-05:002017-03-12T16:40:15.496-05:00Not Dead Yet<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The title of this post comes straight from Monty Python. You know the scene, as the dead wagons collect plague victims, and one of the 'dead' keeps protesting, only to be thumped on the head and carted off.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That's been an excellent summary of the last few weeks. Watching the Markhat titles vanish, one by one, from Amazon was gut-wrenching. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But that's part of the business. Publishers do close shop, now and then. It's not the end of the world, though it certainly feels that way as your books poof into oblivion with a single refresh of the page.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I am engaged in a number of efforts to bring the series back as soon as I can. Whether they will return with a new publisher, or as self-published titles, remains to be seen. I am working as fast as I can.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In the meantime, if you're a fan and you missed a book in the series, just email me. I'll send you a free one, in whatever format works best for you. It might take a day or two, but I'll get it out. It will have a plain text cover, but at least you'll be able to complete the series. My email address is franktuttle at franktuttle dot com (put in the right symbols, you know the drill). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And of course you can still buy WAY OUT WEST by clicking below. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Way-West-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B01M02SH0C/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8">WAY OUT WEST on Amazon as ebook.</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Way-Out-West-Markhat-Files/dp/1539039919/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489354073&sr=1-2&keywords=way+out+west&refinements=p_lbr_one_browse-bin%3AFrank+Tuttle">WAY OUT WEST as print book.</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The Mug and Meralda books weren't affected, either. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/All-Paths-Shadow-Frank-Tuttle-ebook/dp/B00BWVEL4C/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8">ALL THE PATHS OF SHADOW ebook</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/All-Paths-Shadow/dp/0615798616/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=">ALL THE PATHS OF SHADOW print</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Turns-Light-Paths-Shadow-Book-ebook/dp/B00PP6KKZ4/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8">ALL THE TURNS OF LIGHT ebook</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/All-Turns-Light-Paths-Shadow/dp/1505342783/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=">ALL THE TURNS OF LIGHT print</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'll keep everyone posted here with any relevant news.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Thanks to everyone who emailed or messaged with expressions of support. Those meant a lot. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In other news, it's nearly time for my annual pilgrimage to <a href="http://midsouthcon.org/">MidSouthCon</a>, where WAY OUT WEST is up for a Darrell Award. If you're there too, look me up! I'm on a bunch of panels and I'll be out and about the rest of the time. This year, I won't be cosplaying -- I just didn't have the heart or the time to come up with a new costume, and the weight of the steampunk proton pack I've been taking is just too much. I came home from last year's Con a full three inches shorter than I was when I left, and my spine made funny crunching noises for weeks after wearing it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You can check out the schedules and events for the <a href="http://midsouthcon.org/">MidSouthCon </a>on their <a href="http://midsouthcon.org/">webpage, which is here</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So stop by and buy me a drink, I mean, see me and chat. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">See you at the Con!</span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-12798214005417674082017-02-12T16:35:00.004-06:002017-02-12T16:35:57.505-06:00Markhat Interrupted<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Penguinline | Dreamstime.com - Cartoon Girl Working on Notebook</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Well, folks, the other shoe has dropped.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">February 28th of 2017 will be the last day Samhain Publishing offers any titles. After that, all the Markhat titles (except <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Way-West-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B01M02SH0C/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8">WAY OUT WEST</a>) will go dark -- on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, Itunes, everywhere.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Samhain officially ceases operations on the 28th. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Rights reversions of the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002E0LUSA">Markhat titles</a> begins right after that. So I will retain ownership of the series, and will be free to do with the titles as I will shortly after the 28th.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So, all that said, just what will I do?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Beats me. I have several options open, which are:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Shop around for another publisher.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Self-publish all the titles myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Go hide in a damp hole, learn to gnaw on raw fish, and make a gollum sound when short furry strangers approach.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Frankly I'm leaning toward the third option at the moment. Damp caves are relatively cheap to own and maintain, and I already have the Gollum look down pat. Seriously, you've never seen me in a tattered loincloth, I can DO this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But assuming I decide to remain part of polite society, I must choose between options one and two.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There are advantages and disadvantages to both approaches. Finding a publisher relieves me of the time, work, and expense involved in getting new cover art. Of marketing. Of file conversions and distribution and a host of other practices required to put out a book.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But it also means finding another publisher. That will take months, and could very well take years, and might never happen at all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Yes, the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002E0LUSA">Markhat</a> books did sell. Pretty well, at times. But modern publishing isn't just a jungle anymore -- it's a freshly-nuked radioactive mutant feral jungle, where each and every one of the surviving publisher-beasts is concerned not just with sales but with enormous sales. I know too many awesome mid-lister authors who are starting GoFundMes because their books got pushed into near-oblivion and the authors can't afford a five-hundred-dollar roofing job anymore.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Too, the time factor comes into play. A year from now, people will just scratch their heads and ask 'Markhat who?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Which brings us to self-publishing. I can do that. It allows me to set my own prices. Package and brand the series as I choose. Pick my own cover art, my own look. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Which is all very well and good, until one considers the cost of all that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The Markhat books have been extensively edited by real professionals. I won't need to go through that process again. Even so, there will be costs. Cover artists don't work for free (nor should they). I could buy back the old cover art, but buying back ten covers even at reduced rates isn't going to be cheap.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So that's where I am with the series right now. There are a number of hard decisions to be made, and there will be an interruption in availability of the titles no matter what I do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That's life as an author. I wish this was television, where every author is a fabulously wealthy lady or gentleman who travels about solving crimes or having adventures, but reality just looks at us writers and says 'Shut up and eat your Ramen Noodles, loser.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If you're a Markhat fan, you can help by telling anyone who might like the series to snatch it up <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002E0LUSA">RIGHT NOW</a>. Maybe by the time they're done reading them I'll have new books out, somehow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If you're a publisher sitting atop stacks of cash, you can help by emailing me. Really, that would be incredible, and I won't even bring my loincloth to signings. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Although I've always said I'd never do this, I'm seriously considering a Kickstarter or Patreon or GoFundMe page of my own now. Just out of curiosity, how many of you reading this would consider kicking in 20 bucks or so? And would anyone think I was making a mistake even asking for help?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I would like to close by thanking Samhain Publishing for all their support through the years. They were great, and I'll miss them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Mamas, don't let your kids grow up to be writers.</span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-31896382189913400512017-02-05T17:49:00.001-06:002017-02-05T17:58:03.171-06:00Murder Most Frequent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I commit murder at least three times a week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I should clarify that statement. I commit murder in my head at least three times a week. No one actually winds up on the floor bleeding, or decapitated, or, as it was last Tuesday, shoved into a meat grinder head-first (I was in a mood). No, the most I do is seethe silently until I can move away from my potential victims.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">There are certain types of people I believe deserve to be murdered instantly by the most expedient means necessary. Nazis, for instance. Dog-fighters, or people who go to watch dog fighting. Child molesters. Rapists. I'd gleefully slaughter members of a dog-fighting ring with an old-school Tommy gun and never lose a wink of sleep over it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">But the most common and frequent cause of my numerous rages is something I never really understood, at least until recently, and it's a genuine neurological condition called misophonia.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">My form of misophonia makes listening to people chew (or slurp, or gobble, you get the picture) instantly and profoundly piss me off. It's a primal reaction, one that can't be ignored or simply shrugged off -- if you're making a lot of noise eating, I flat out want to murder you the whole time you're doing it. Yes, it's irrational. But it's also quite real.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'll link to an article explaining misophonia in clinical terms, but basically, people with misophonia were stuffed into MRI machines while being subjected to the usual trigger noises -- people chewing, people smacking on gum, people gobbling down lasanga with their mouths open like a bunch of damned orangutans. I can only assume the test subjects were shackled and chained during the MRI, because frankly after a few minutes of that I'd be up and looking to whack the nearest neurosurgeon with a solid length of steel pipe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What the researchers found was clear evidence of abnormal structures in the brain among misophonia sufferers. Here's a quote from the article: "People with misophonia had more myelin, or insulation, around the gray matter in their prefrontal cortex. They also showed abnormal connections between this cortex and the anterior insular cortex, which is involved in processing information and emotions."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">My brain is composed almost entirely of abnormal structures. I'm pretty sure there's a working pinball machine in there somewhere. Also one of those antique fortune-telling machines, because every day at 4:11 PM a squeaky mechanical voice says "Zontar knows your past, sees your future, insert a nickel."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Finally, science has explained why I become enraged when the guy at the next table chews with his fat stupid mouth open. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Now that Science has explained misophonia, perhaps Law can offer me a defense. "I was clinically unable to contain my rage, Your Honor, and I still have no idea where I found that bazooka." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Here's the <a href="http://mentalfloss.com/article/91896/do-certain-sounds-enrage-you-neurologists-may-know-why">link to the article</a>. Here's another link to a parody video showing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ttfL7-BB7M">the Mr. Bean version of 'Fifty Shades of Gray,'</a> because why not.</span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-34498809726044949412017-01-22T16:36:00.003-06:002017-01-22T16:36:58.325-06:00Alternative Facts and Where To Find Them<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">© Elnur | Dreamstime.com - <a href="https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-woman-magician-isolated-white-image67911480#res5678350" style="color: #246eac; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; outline: 0px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none;">The Woman Magician Isolated On The White Photo</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've had an epiphany.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">All my life, I've been shackled by the chains of objective reality. The cold, unfeeling digits of my bank balance denied me the finer things -- Ferraris, thrice-yearly vacations in Spain, the powers of flight and invisibility. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Like a fool, I toiled on, heavy laden by the seemingly inescapable burden of 'facts.' Worse, I bowed to the purveyors of so-called facts. Loan officers, 'No Trespassing' signs, doctors and their joyless pronouncements that a diet consisting entirely of vodka and Twinkies would soon prove fatal -- these were my jailers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My only outlet, my only escape, was in my writing, but even there I submitted to what I believed were the harsh realities of publishing, best exemplified by my continual use of duct-tape to effect home repairs and minor first aid.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But no more. I am inspired by current events, empowered at last by brave leaders unfettered by reality. Because objective reality is merely one facet of existence -- there is another, more pleasant realm, that of alternative facts. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Thus, it is with great pleasure I announce that the Markhat books have sold, in the last few moments, 2 million copies. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Do my Amazon rankings support this statement? No -- but that's just another example of my suppression by the publishing elite. The true sales figures, the alternative fact sales figures, just jumped to four million copies. I mean eight million. Let's make it ten. With options for movie rights, Markhat and Darla action figures, and of course the ever-popular Evis vampire doll, with Kung-Fu grip and rotating normal and fanged faces. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have never felt quite so relaxed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As a best-selling author, I will now enjoy the fruits of my alternative labors. I shall surround myself with opulence, demand only the freshest Twinkies, refuse suspect home-brewed booze in favor of something with an actual machine-printed label. I'll use only Duct Tape(tm) brand adhesive, not that knock-off crap from the Dollar Tree. Yes, it's wine and roses from here on out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It appears the nearest Ferrari dealership is an inconvenient 80 miles away. Or is it? Presto, my Corolla is a Toyota no more -- now it is a finely-crafted Italian sports car, lovingly maintained, eager to conquer the road with the throaty roar of its high-performance engine. When the highway patrol pulls me over and suggests I was speeding, I'll confound them and be on my way after a quick explanation that while their radar may have claimed I was going 106 in a 30 MPH zone, my alternative explanation that I was maintaining a steady 28 MPH overrides their ludicrous assumption and have a nice day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I urge all my friends to join me in this simple rejection of objective reality. We can be free!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Let's all meet up in Spain on Tuesday. Tell the airlines you fly for free, for life, because Frank said so. Be sure to seat yourself in first class. Take the plane controls for a while, you're a qualified jumbo jet pilot, and anyway those things fly themselves now. Mostly. But gravity is just a theory, I'm told, and pilots make a big fuss about how hard it is to land a 767 just so they can get in the plane first and not be pestered about the size of their carry-ons. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Welcome to my brave new world. Now, if you'll pardon me, my shuttlecraft awaits, and my orbiting battle cruiser needs a shakedown cruise.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I think I'm going to like this place.</span><br />
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-10537965210940732482017-01-15T14:22:00.000-06:002017-01-15T14:22:19.292-06:00Into the Badlands<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">© Joeygil | Dreamstime.com - <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photography-man-ruins-watching-television-image17935447#res5678350" href="https://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photography-man-ruins-watching-television-image17935447#res5678350" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; display: inline; font-family: "Gotham SSm A", "Gotham SSm B", "Gotham SSm", "Proxima Nova", "Open Sans", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;">Man In Ruins Watching Television Photo</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Fans of my blog (both of you, thanks gang) may have noticed I missed a few weeks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I did, and I'm sorry about that. I'd like to say I just ran out of things to say, but the truth is quite the opposite -- I was full of things to say, but decided you'd probably had your share of furious rants and really didn't need another one shoved in your virtual face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I declared a hiatus. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Now I'm back. No less frustrated, no less fearful, but back, and still determined not to add one iota to the miserable situation we must now all endure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm also determined to detach myself from this mess somehow, to get back to work. Determined to do so, but utterly clueless as to how to accomplish this.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It seems easy enough, doesn't it? Just fire up the Beast of All Words, conjure forth Word, and start writing. </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ah, if it was truly that simple. Because what I've been producing lately has been toxic. Even Mug and Meralda lost their spark, becoming suddenly older, wearier, bleakly cynical. And Markhat? That got so dark I deleted the last several chapters. I will not do that to my characters, or my readers. Neither deserves such treatment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Long I pondered. Many beers were consumed. Walls were stared upon. Much Pink Floyd was played, because if you need a soundtrack as you stare into the abyss nothing fits the bill quite like Pink Floyd.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I still haven't found any answers, aside from the flippant one I cited earlier -- fire up the Beast of All Words, conjure forth Word, and start writing. Again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It may well be that the only way out of my mental morass is through it. I may have to let Mug and Meralda and Markhat and Darla have time and space to work through this, just as I do. Which will mean delays in getting new stuff out. But I suppose that's preferable to never getting anything new out at all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have at least decided I won't quit. No matter what strange shape the world takes on in the next several years, people will still, I hope, want books. I hope they'll still need stories in which good triumphs over evil. I want to believe people will still want to cheer on heroes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I won't quit until I stop believing all that is true. I hope that day never comes.</span></div>
<div id="yui_3_17_2_1_1484508242423_65315" style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So, if you're out there, and you're worried too, you're not alone. And if you've found a way to regain some sense of hope, please, email me the recipe. I could certainly use a fresh batch right now.</span></div>
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-75870941328193428402016-11-13T16:34:00.000-06:002016-11-13T16:34:08.125-06:00Steampunk Forever<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd-XkICt6ukJjOSwwrxprz95KoUV-kVDaUuCxYTgAFeZOYZ0OVuk-6V7hhw6hWbCJdSWR1tLE_WgS-OkxKO7wKqCA3tbJx7mreN-JzJx_MQtgf7hVHq5UDEUpym4qrBzYJNtqYD25VYWA/s1600/GB2platinumsmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd-XkICt6ukJjOSwwrxprz95KoUV-kVDaUuCxYTgAFeZOYZ0OVuk-6V7hhw6hWbCJdSWR1tLE_WgS-OkxKO7wKqCA3tbJx7mreN-JzJx_MQtgf7hVHq5UDEUpym4qrBzYJNtqYD25VYWA/s640/GB2platinumsmall.jpg" width="502" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The present, it must be noted, sucks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Part of the reason it sucks is because today it's perfectly acceptable to say 'this sucks.' Our forebears would have expressed the same emotion with far more eloquence and wit, stating perhaps something like this:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>The times in which we find our ourselves inspire equal portions of horror and dismay. Chaos and banditry surround us at every hand, and unrest greets us at every turn. Men and women of all ages have been eternally subject to the whims of fate, but never before have these whims been so full of malice and contempt for the very faces upon which they blow.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Now that's just lyrical. But it won't fit in a Tweet, so we moderns proclaim 'this sucks' and go on to yell at people on Facebook.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I'm resetting my personal clock to an 1888 that never was. In my new reality, Charles Babbage's mechanical calculating engine worked. Nicola Tesla found a wealthy financier, and from his laboratory came wondrous machines that put those of Edison to shame. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Mighty airships ply the skies. Air piracy rises as well, and battles are fought in the heavens using Tesla's deadly rays, which dwarf and outshine the lightning. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Scientific progress made leaps that our own history skipped. A new world emerged, sounding of the hiss of steam, the determined turning of gears, and the crackle and hiss of strange energies barely contained.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I think that's a world worth living in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Of course, I can't live there full-time, but I can don my steampunk ghostbuster's aether pack and my Victorian clothes and wander around SF/F conventions without getting hauled away to answer a lot of nervous questions about the machine strapped to my back. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'll be cosplaying as a steampunk ghostbuster at the upcoming Memphis Comic and Fantasy Convention, where I'm also on a number of paranormal panels. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FRJDzbp0NtO0ASJBSc1GAjkDwfrzWzfXjuEG0ZhSH4S6T9Zb1_zrSjbExyKCuLGGIwbeyGwzwJEtpg1QZ_iBa3TbHpoVZa0ixUI3bNY1i0_V7iiSzc_VHRsgwDJAHast7tbxNwhr1oQ/s1600/GB3darosmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FRJDzbp0NtO0ASJBSc1GAjkDwfrzWzfXjuEG0ZhSH4S6T9Zb1_zrSjbExyKCuLGGIwbeyGwzwJEtpg1QZ_iBa3TbHpoVZa0ixUI3bNY1i0_V7iiSzc_VHRsgwDJAHast7tbxNwhr1oQ/s640/GB3darosmall.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Yes, these are images of me, transformed into period-accurate photographs. I like posing for these, because no one smiled in photos until after 1950, and I just can't smile on command. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I know, I know, cosplaying is generally thought of as a pursuit for a younger, thinner crowd. But I enjoy it so I'm going to do it. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxnDV5IvL0hpehyKuAFOlWm-h1XqC7FxbMr8iKXzgL0bdhDANPQG6YqJem-ssulOM2EOSmHS_uOWmhLDu_SEL5O32_IsmFW6pkwcMI-zDZatCk-sfVMl9LBxCM2dQCcog-b-T0SHqffoc/s1600/GB4darosmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxnDV5IvL0hpehyKuAFOlWm-h1XqC7FxbMr8iKXzgL0bdhDANPQG6YqJem-ssulOM2EOSmHS_uOWmhLDu_SEL5O32_IsmFW6pkwcMI-zDZatCk-sfVMl9LBxCM2dQCcog-b-T0SHqffoc/s640/GB4darosmall.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">One of the (few) advantages of getting older is the realization that one no longer cares what anyone thinks of them. Act my age? No. I'll act as I wish, and if that offends anyone, I simply don't care. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYS4GJwbibv53dDUT6oO-aWYk6cnPqfmEHo22Jiz49GmOVl8pPJDMI4ypCkJdXrJAQk4FfaYRylfqdr2VElXJgdVIHRUpvmzoZHJBq8BGkOstTquxpWx6hsVI7VT_PLlOLNLIBm3TFe7o/s1600/GB6cyanosmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="576" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYS4GJwbibv53dDUT6oO-aWYk6cnPqfmEHo22Jiz49GmOVl8pPJDMI4ypCkJdXrJAQk4FfaYRylfqdr2VElXJgdVIHRUpvmzoZHJBq8BGkOstTquxpWx6hsVI7VT_PLlOLNLIBm3TFe7o/s640/GB6cyanosmall.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So, if you are planning to attend the Comic and Fantasy Convention, and you see this gentleman in the halls, stop and say hello. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We of the year 1888 enjoy conversations with strangers, who most often are revealed to be friends we are meeting for the very first time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Also, look up my panel schedule, and sit in on a few! I'm bringing some of my DIY paranormal investigative gear, and we'll swap stories. It will be, as we say, a smashing good time.</span><br />
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-84041946889059310702016-11-06T16:44:00.002-06:002016-11-06T16:44:59.572-06:00Proton Pack Redux<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I made a few changes and additions to the Steampunk Ghostbuster Proton Pack this week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Most notably, it now has sound!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The small lighted Bluetooth player mounted at the top takes microSD cards, so I built a looping sound file to add some life to the thing. The track is 15 minutes long, and then it just repeats until I turn the player off.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I went through several sound builds until I found one I liked. The first couple sounded great, but were a bit too modern to fit the steampunk theme of the pack. Finally, I went back to the drawing board, laid down a background of hissing steam and shuttling gears, and then added in a few bells, the scrape of metal on metal, a bit of antique sewing machine, and a dash of randomly-reversed chime sounds.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I think the end result fits the build perfectly. I posted a short video with the sounds and lights running below.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If anyone is curious, I built the soundtrack using Audacity, which is a free sound editing program so easy to use even a Frank can run it. The image below shows part of the audio creation process. Each row represents a different audio track. You can move them, apply various effects, add, delete, and re-arrange as much as you like. Then you merge the tracks, and viola! Your very own audio track.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You can probably guess by looking at what some of the tracks represent. The top one, the fat one, is the steam hiss. The second from the bottom, the regular series of small ticks, is a clock. The rest are bursts of sounds I thought were interesting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">All the sounds were free, downloaded from www.freesound.org. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As promised, the video is below. It's pretty dark, but dammit, Jim, I'm a writer, not a cinematographer.</span></div>
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-86738388816727412532016-10-23T17:26:00.003-05:002016-10-23T17:26:32.484-05:00Markhat Art!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFCuqe7NlPDITDlzrsrrHoni_bmYl5GOpFApMul-BljDVEKW4v9wj7LsH3_HCyQT5aOakq5acIbrufSRC4zaOBTd9T1o0TL_mBhIEJA6wrVxppCCDu3QgGeqhB_Oa1gE2PnJZJe72MDtM/s1600/MArkhatpaiting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFCuqe7NlPDITDlzrsrrHoni_bmYl5GOpFApMul-BljDVEKW4v9wj7LsH3_HCyQT5aOakq5acIbrufSRC4zaOBTd9T1o0TL_mBhIEJA6wrVxppCCDu3QgGeqhB_Oa1gE2PnJZJe72MDtM/s640/MArkhatpaiting.jpg" width="622" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The painting above was done by local artist Thomas Grosskopf, and it's a beauty. Depicted are Darla, Markhat, Mama Hog, and a few of their fanged foes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Thomas lives in Abbeville, a small town just a few miles from Oxford. We'd never met, until the librarian at my old alma mater, Lafayette High school, asked me to come and give a talk to the book club a couple of Fridays ago. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I did, and I was gobsmacked when Thomas presented me with the painting above. Turns out he's a Markhat fan, and he certainly captured the characters. Mama Hog has never made a book cover, but that's a perfect rendition of her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You can see more of Thomas's art at the Bozarts Art Gallery on 403 Main Street in Water Valley, Mississippi.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Thomas, thanks again for the stunning painting! It's always an incredible experience when your books inspire art. </span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-25875325021871017412016-10-09T19:08:00.002-05:002016-10-09T19:08:55.288-05:00The Knocking Man<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Finally. It's October.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I love everything about October. The scary movies, the Halloween decorations, the first hint of chill in the air. The falling leaves. The sight of my lawn mowers sitting idle in the corner of the garage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Yes, it's my favorite time of the year.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In honor of October, I'd like give you a free audio story that I think fits the spooky mood perfectly. By following the link below, you can listen to me reading my short story 'The Knocking Man.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's a half hour long, so settle back, grab something to drink, and hit the play button. I hope you like it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2DkED-BMFk">THE KNOCKING MAN on YouTube.</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For next week, I hope to have some new ghostly EVPs for you to listen to. I'll be taking my gear out to various cemeteries in hopes of capturing voices that are hard to explain. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Until then, enjoy The Knocking Man. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've also added some new lighting features to my steampunk ghostbuster's proton-aether pack. The pictures are below. I plan to wear this somewhere, for Halloween, despite the sad fact that the things weighs as much as a brand new Chevy Volt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Here it is, propped against my workshop wall, in dim light:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The shot below was taken in the dark, with all the lights set for always on -- they can also flash, which is the setting I'll use for some of them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm pretty happy with it, especially since it's made from junk plumbing parts, an old motorcycle clutch, and the guts of a vacuum cleaner. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">See you next Sunday! And remember, if you want to leave a review for <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Way-West-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B01M02SH0C/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8">WAY OUT WEST</a>, it's only a click away...</span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-53293579522799531712016-10-02T13:19:00.000-05:002016-10-02T13:20:08.333-05:00Broken Promises<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Just last week, I claimed I wouldn't be talking anymore about the new <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Way-West-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B01M02SH0C/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8">Markhat</a> book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Way-West-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B01M02SH0C/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8"><i>Way Out West</i>.</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Turns out I lied. That happens a lot -- but Big Al's Books and Pals, the renowned indie book review site, featured Way Out West last week, and I just can't let that pass unannounced.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You can read the full review by clicking below:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://booksandpals.blogspot.com/2016/09/way-out-west-by-franktuttle-kindle_30.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter">Review of Way Out West by Big Al's Books and Pals</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Did they like the book?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">That's always the first question that springs to mind when I get notice of a book review. Here's the book you spent months slaving over, sweating blood over, pouring your heart and soul into -- and now it's out there, all alone in the wild, facing its audience for the first time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It's a scary moment. No two people are going to come away from a book with the same experience. I know of books that are beloved by people -- smart people, people with taste and discernment -- that left me scratching my head and wondering what all the fuss was about. There are even highly-touted books that I read and loathed. Which isn't to say they're bad books, by any means. They just weren't right for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So what if my book wasn't right for that particular reviewer? What if they read it, and hated it with the burning fury of ten thousand bright young suns? What if they publicly declare their hatred for the book to an audience of hundreds, or thousands? What if I've crawled so far under this heavy sofa out of sheer terror that I can't get free and my corpse is found years later, much to the amusement of the readership of Fark?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Two things happened, concerning the review in Big Al's. First, they liked the book. And second, I was able to squirm free of the sofa after a forty-five minute struggle. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So it is with an immense sense of relief and no small level of back pain that I can post an excerpt from the review.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"<i>It’s a wild ride of murder, intrigue, and time warps. New characters who play important parts are written with depth and style. Darla is sharp and takes on an impressive role as Markhat realizes he married up in class.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>There are delightful surprises among the darkness of this tale and more twists in the plot than any roller-coaster ever invented."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Now that's the kind of review that I live for. Because it means that maybe, just maybe, the book worked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Novels are a lot like engines made out of words and pauses and pacing. Mostly words. You try and put the right words in the right places, in the hope that the whole of them will take on a life of their own. You hope that the reader sits down and turns the ignition with the first dozen words, and that the book cranks right up and takes the reader on a ride they won't soon forget.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">That's the fear of every writer when a review comes up. The fear that somewhere along the road from Chapter One to The End, the engine just sputters and dies, or veers into the dread ditch of boredom. When that happens, it's trip over, and another book is always ready to pick up the stranded and offer them a ride.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">But that's the nature of the beast. You do your best and then sit back and hope for the best.While you work on yet another little engine that might.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I am especially glad that the reviewer picked up on Darla's growth too. I've got big plans for her, and she is rising easily to the demand. So much so that <i>The Darla Diaries</i> may start appearing sometime next year.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So that's one important review I can file under 'five stars.' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Makes all the blood, sweat, and tears worthwhile.</span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-65129803913958460372016-09-25T13:17:00.003-05:002016-09-25T13:17:39.828-05:00Who's Reading My Books?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZm3aY8qaBW7ye3biDKLTkLxZFrPSgzVhg3XrkIPf4xqnjz4cjzyuKV_a28Hl8bl3k07SYqhOF7exbNvPJtwMZHr90CEyhXS4tDBLegJ2I5mQnOe485Rl62cXMiXwdOCYuwBEAQutGgec/s1600/dreamstime_xs_52028491.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="536" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZm3aY8qaBW7ye3biDKLTkLxZFrPSgzVhg3XrkIPf4xqnjz4cjzyuKV_a28Hl8bl3k07SYqhOF7exbNvPJtwMZHr90CEyhXS4tDBLegJ2I5mQnOe485Rl62cXMiXwdOCYuwBEAQutGgec/s640/dreamstime_xs_52028491.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've been compiling statistics concerning my readership, particularly of the Markhat books.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">How do I collect this data, you ask?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Nosey, aren't you, I reply. But since you asked, I managed to crack Amazon's mysterious book-ranking feature, so I now have access to some data not available to the public. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Here's how my readership breaks down, ranked in descending order of total impact:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Readers chained in my basement.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That guy who's been stuck in the Dakar airport in Senegal since 2010.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Mrs. M. O. Feinstien, of Flushing, who still disapproves of the name 'Markhat.' Sorry, Mrs. Feinstein, it's too late to change his name now.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The pair of NSA analysts who started compiling a dossier on me since I searched 'airports in North Africa' just a few minutes ago.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The students of Miss Krieger's fourth-year World Cultures class, who despite being in Liechtenstein were assigned 'Brown River Queen' as required reading material. I think this was a clerical error, kids, but my no-refunds policy is still in play. Deal with it, or, as they say in Liechtenstein, 'komm damit klar.' </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The Dalai Lama. Thanks for all the fan mail, dude, and yes we've <i>totally</i> got to 'throw back a few suds' one of these days. You party animal you.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Armed with this vast array of data, I can now fine-tune my marketing efforts. And by 'marketing efforts,' I mean increase the frequency of the beatings down in the basement.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> Way Out West has already garnered reader reviews on Amazon. My favorite of these is the one below, which is a direct quote from the book:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1U1D9McbWUagqAB1FdCwnfq5h0BXGTfm1gN4sS-sBAXsc7ZV9lH96Pca9SW7QykqM_V_N7NLcwWw1spCaBbcdwOEkQq-rMqV1jgFv4-SB7Ak3F0Jqtnlmd0e_Jm61QL1143tra-EqmA/s1600/eloquent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1U1D9McbWUagqAB1FdCwnfq5h0BXGTfm1gN4sS-sBAXsc7ZV9lH96Pca9SW7QykqM_V_N7NLcwWw1spCaBbcdwOEkQq-rMqV1jgFv4-SB7Ak3F0Jqtnlmd0e_Jm61QL1143tra-EqmA/s640/eloquent.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Well done, RedHerrin, well done! And thanks. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Seriously, book marketing is hard. I really have no idea what to do -- blog tours? Tweets? A barrage of 'Hey read my book' posts (like this one)? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've decided against pretty much all of those avenues. My plan is to just work on a new book and hope people like <i>Way Out West</i> enough to talk about it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So this is probably the last time I'll mention the book, unless there is an actual need to discuss it. I will announce the availability of the print edition, which should be ready in a few days. It will be priced at $9.99, which is about as low as I can price it without actually losing money on each sale.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That said, here's one more link to the book, and one more picture of the cover, for anyone who missed the previous blog, which announced the book's release.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Way-West-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B01M02SH0C/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8">WAY OUT WEST</a></i> for Kindle</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/way-out-west-frank-tuttle/1124585892?ean=2940156808595">WAY OUT WEST</a></i> for Nook</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And the cover, which I love with a love most unseemly:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4t6EQDieG2RH7_AioRitL3EjwvJE0wPXV7F7lHAiFT-keuVpUudJ8I1wuNx1JHlJOT1CSjvRjp1EleQIxfLvP-o7X2zcMDGOr7D8kv5wJUrklTgKZJhApt_xCbmRP_MzXx5KOzxhxZcU/s1600/%255BFT-2016-001%255D-FT-Way-Out-West-Book-Cover_500x750.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4t6EQDieG2RH7_AioRitL3EjwvJE0wPXV7F7lHAiFT-keuVpUudJ8I1wuNx1JHlJOT1CSjvRjp1EleQIxfLvP-o7X2zcMDGOr7D8kv5wJUrklTgKZJhApt_xCbmRP_MzXx5KOzxhxZcU/s640/%255BFT-2016-001%255D-FT-Way-Out-West-Book-Cover_500x750.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-73165331244031052852016-09-11T15:42:00.000-05:002016-09-11T15:42:01.655-05:00Way Out West<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8lzzE-Bav5Q0RX0qpAzv4XeA-sFuLM1w_xcJRnlBYlVYHr_5H4Dc3b3fW20rCgk-tesD6GlSNEdSZlpZOmIoeOQHdhmx65Rsko9fVk3oODXrqTd-c2Vl2rH6vNiHvyY6sQB8igCZho5M/s1600/%255BFT-2016-001%255D-FT-Way-Out-West-Book-Cover_1400x2100.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8lzzE-Bav5Q0RX0qpAzv4XeA-sFuLM1w_xcJRnlBYlVYHr_5H4Dc3b3fW20rCgk-tesD6GlSNEdSZlpZOmIoeOQHdhmx65Rsko9fVk3oODXrqTd-c2Vl2rH6vNiHvyY6sQB8igCZho5M/s640/%255BFT-2016-001%255D-FT-Way-Out-West-Book-Cover_1400x2100.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Here it is, folks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The tenth title in the Markhat Files series, <i>Way Out West</i>, is now on sale in Kindle format on Amazon, and as a Kobo ebook from the Kobo site!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Here are the links:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Way-West-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B01M02SH0C/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1473625903&sr=1-2&keywords=way+out+west">WAY OUT WEST</a></i> on Amazon, in Kindle format.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><a href="https://store.kobobooks.com/en-ca/ebook/way-out-west-5">WAY OUT WEST</a></i> on Kobo, in Kobo format.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Other formats will follow, probably later this week. There will be a Nook version, an Ibook version, and a Google Play edition. The print book will also be available on Amazon shortly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I could have waited to do a full-spread release, but since 99% of my sales are Kindle ebooks, I decided to go ahead and launch today.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">That's the cover above. I love this cover; the artist got everything right. I wanted Darla front and center this time, to reflect her equal role in the book. I think her expression is perfect -- she's clearly a woman to be reckoned with. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The locomotive is there, too. The train in the book is named the <i>Western Star</i>, and I wanted it featured as well, since it's the setting. There's also a clue to a pivotal scene hidden in the cover, but that's for readers to discover on their own.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So what's this book about?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It's about home. About leaving home. About changes. About making those decisions that all of us face from time to time. Stay or go. Fight or flee. Play it safe, or take a chance.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I realized when I finished writing Way Out West that it was heavily influenced by current events. Like it or not -- and I don't -- our world is changing. Every year is the hottest on record. Society is in turmoil. There are storms brewing on every horizon, and unless you've got a vault stuffed with money, places to hide are hard to find.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla and Markhat are in the same situation. Old magic is creeping back into their world, changing the landscape as it moves and strengthens. Rannit's walls may have withstood the War, but they'll provide no defense now. Not when monsters stroll the streets.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">That sounds dark. Yes, there are dark aspects to the book, but I hope you'll come away from the experience with a sense that there is still good in the world, most often right at your side.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Mama Hog is back, of course. So are Slim and Buttercup, Evis and Gertriss. Magic and murder, guns and sorcerers, wise-cracks and close calls -- it's a wild ride.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I hope everyone enjoys the book. And if you do, (ENGAGE BEGGING MODE) please leave a review. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'll post updates when the other versions go live. It won't be long, so if Kindle ebooks aren't your preferred format, don't worry.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I do hope you enjoy <i>Way out West</i>. </span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-58080647865179845792016-08-28T15:22:00.000-05:002016-08-28T17:39:07.726-05:00Not Long Now<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtxLWsbVZLG-VWclPUO-TRyDj_1Cnwh3tQ9ZLsDWz9SZVM9tHKPDJP5jmP3qIqvWCS1ONgOo8a3TZ0xECBuIHyHaBwxRjivvSlmm-BGmVpOizCVQsl-0k6AyGtfgA0K0DkEHBo2q9qdTU/s1600/logo2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="476" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtxLWsbVZLG-VWclPUO-TRyDj_1Cnwh3tQ9ZLsDWz9SZVM9tHKPDJP5jmP3qIqvWCS1ONgOo8a3TZ0xECBuIHyHaBwxRjivvSlmm-BGmVpOizCVQsl-0k6AyGtfgA0K0DkEHBo2q9qdTU/s640/logo2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_17_2_1_1472413465399_33401" style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">If you've been waiting for the new Markhat book, your wait is nearly over.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Editing is done. A bit of formatting remains, but not much -- I expect to release the new book, WAY OUT WEST, in a few weeks. Maybe just a couple.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This will be the tenth entry in the series. For anyone unfamiliar with the previous titles, they are, in order, as follows:</span></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px; margin: 22px 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<li><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001CNR8HM/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001CNR8HM/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Dead Man's Rain</span></a></li>
<li><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/Mister-Trophy-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B001CN47NA/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8#nav-subnav" href="https://www.amazon.com/Mister-Trophy-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B001CN47NA/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8#nav-subnav" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Mister Trophy</span></a></li>
<li><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002VFPSCM/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002VFPSCM/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Cadaver Client</span></a></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/Markhat-Files-Frank-Tuttle/dp/1605049212/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1472412301&sr=1-6&keywords=the+markhat+files" href="https://www.amazon.com/Markhat-Files-Frank-Tuttle/dp/1605049212/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1472412301&sr=1-6&keywords=the+markhat+files" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;">The Markhat Files </a>(an anthology of the three previous titles, available only in print)</span></li>
<li><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002F0826C/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002F0826C/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Hold the Dark</span></a></li>
<li><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003P9XHQ2/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003P9XHQ2/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Banshee's Walk</span></a></li>
<li><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005OVZ59G/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005OVZ59G/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Broken Bell</span></a></li>
<li><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BIFTYLW/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BIFTYLW/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Brown River Queen</span></a></li>
<li><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00III7LZ8/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00III7LZ8/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Five Faces</span></a></li>
<li><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00TLIGAVK/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00TLIGAVK/ref=series_rw_dp_sw#nav-subnav" style="background: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(121, 121, 121); color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Darker Carnival</span></a></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">And now, WAY OUT WEST.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Markhat has enjoyed quite a career, one I never saw coming the first time he walked onto the page and started cracking wise to all and sundry. He's faced murderous magics, grappled with sinister sorcereries, tackled mad magicians and phantom murderers and flat beers with equal aplomb.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So I'm thrilled to offer this latest adventure, and it's one I truly hope you enjoy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I will tell you this much -- this one is set on a train. Specifically, a steam locomotive, bound for the wastelands left empty and in ruin by the War. The wastes are slowly repopulating, with towns springing back to life along the railroad, and Markhat's new case takes him to the end of the line.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla is a full partner in this story. I've come to enjoy writing her as much as I do Markhat. I've even toyed with the idea of a spin-off series featuring Darla'a own adventures, told by her (<em>The Darla Diaries</em>?). If someone can please provide me with an extra three to five hours a day, I'll get started at once.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Next week, I'll reveal the cover for WAY OUT WEST here in the blog.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Today, though, I'll provide you with an excerpt from the book. No spoilers, no secrets revealed -- just a single scene, to give you a taste until the whole book is available.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The scene takes place shortly after the <em>Western Star</em> leaves Rannit. They've just entered the plains, when the locomotive comes to a screeching unscheduled halt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>FROM <em>WAY OUT WEST:</em></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The bar car was pandemonium.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Shattered glass and spilled booze covered the floor. Half the occupants had their faces pressed to the windows while the other half made for the door.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla and Gertriss, bless them, were back to back by the door, pistols drawn.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“We didn’t do it,” I yelled, over the din. “Evis. Follow the crowd. Keep an eye out for long thin knives or people sneaking into sleeping compartments. Gertriss. Watch Evis. Darla. With me.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Evis nodded and charged the door, Gertriss on his heels. Darla took my hand and we followed, shouldering our way through the crowd.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">By the time we reached the platform between cars, the <em>Western Star </em>was stopped. Her steam engine still chugged, and her funnel still belched smoke, so I was at least reassured we hadn’t exploded. Yet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I shoved a pair of hesitant riders aside and put boots on the gravel track bed. Darla hopped down after, and together we sprinted past the stopped cars, watched the whole time by rows of worried faces.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Gravel crunched behind us. I turned to see a small mob of brave souls following in our wake, led by the stumbling clown. He saw me turn and honked his red nose at me, nearly tripping from the effort.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The <em>Western Star </em>was nineteen cars, not counting the tender and the locomotive. I was huffing and puffing by the time we drew even with the engine, and unable to cuss when I saw what lay ahead.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“What the hell?” said Darla, who wasn’t even panting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">A mastodon, the biggest one I’d ever seen, was sitting on the tracks, waving its hairy trunk back and forth between its monstrous yellow tusks. And I do mean sitting—its back legs, all forty tons of them, were folded so that the beast’s wide ass was planted across the tracks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The mastodon’s musk was so powerful my eyes began to burn, and I had to struggle not to gag. Horseflies buzzed thick about us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Those are Trolls,” said Darla, lowering her revolver and hiding it behind her skirt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I nodded. Flanking the mastodon was a pair of Trolls, also seated, remaining still and silent in what I understood to be a Trollish gesture of friendly respect.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Huddled in a nervous mob at the locomotive’s blunt prow was Engineer Stoddard and a pair of sooty toughs I assumed were coal shovelers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Trolls and their horse,” I said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Why would they park their horse on the tracks?” Darla asked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Because they can park it anywhere they damn well please, I suppose,” I said. Engineer Stoddard turned, saw me, and smiled the kind of smile one reserves for delivering bad news to people you don’t like.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Well, there he is,” he barked, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ve already sent for the basket of apples. You get to deliver it. That’s the Watchman’s job, dealing with Trolls.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">His burly fire-men snorted until Darla let them see her revolver.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Apples?” I asked. “Why apples?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Stoddard shrugged. “Because they like apples. How the hell should I know? They’re Trolls, they don’t make no sense. They stop the train. You give them apples, let them talk Troll bullshit until they get done. They move their Troll horse, and we waste a half a damned day getting back up to speed. That’s the job, fancy man. Now it’s your job. Here’s the apples.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Rowdy came charging up, dragging one side of a bushel basket of apples while another conductor dragged the other.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“I’ll go with you, Captain,” Rowdy said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Hell you will,” snarled Stoddard. “That’s a Watch job. You’re with the C&E. Get back to your car.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Go on, kid,” I said softly. “I can manage.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla stepped up and shot a killing glare at the engineer. “I’ll take this side, dear,” she said. Her revolver had vanished as quickly as a magician’s trick rabbit. “We wouldn’t want to impose upon the C&E by asking them to do a man’s job, now would we?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I grinned and grabbed the other handle. Engineer Stoddard’s face turned the vibrant red of a ripe tomato.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“No indeed, wife,” I replied. “I’m sure they’ve got a full day of cowering to do.” I tipped my hat to the railroad men as we passed them. “Mind you don’t soil your underbritches, gentlemen.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">If they had any retort, the <em>Western Star</em> herself rendered it inaudible with a long billowing discharge of compressed steam.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Gravel crunched behind us, as the clown raced to catch up. “Don’t mind me,” he said. “Don’t worry about the Trolls, either. They’re friendly.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“How do you know that?” asked Darla.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Because we ain’t dead,” he replied. “Here, I’ll go first.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">And he did, charging up to the larger of the two Trolls before breaking into a clumsy, bumbling dance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“That is either the drunkest man I’ve ever seen, or the bravest,” said Darla.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Both,” I replied. The apple basket was heavy. We took our time, so I got a good look at both Trolls before stepping within smiting distance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The rightmost was typical Troll—a towering mass of muscle and fur decorated with foot-long talons and piercing Troll eyes. He was naked, save for a cargo belt and an ornamental necklace made from weathered human skulls, each missing the lower jaw and strung together through ragged holes on each side of the cranium.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Troll on the left was half the size of the other. His fur was dark, almost black, and though his eyes were every bit Troll warrior, they darted about constantly and something like a grin shaped his toothy maw.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Is that a child?” whispered Darla.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“I think so,” I replied. “Unusual. They’re shy about bringing their youngsters around humans.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The adult Troll started clapping in time to the clown’s ridiculous dance. “Ho, ho, ho,” it boomed, followed by a string of wet Troll words that might have been a cheerful greeting or a graphic description of the dismemberment to come.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">We dragged the bushel of apples as close as I dared. “Greetings, Walking Stone,” I said, taking off my hat. “May your shadow fall tall and your soul grow to meet it.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Troll nodded but kept clapping. The railroad clown danced gamely on, gasping for breath but, by the Angels, keeping his too-large shoes shuffling in the gravel.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Show him an apple before I have a stroke,” muttered the clown. “I can’t keep this up all damned day.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla snatched up a ripe red apple. “For you and yours, Walking Stone,” she said, holding the fruit aloft. “A gift, given in friendship.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Troll ended his claps with a bellow and a laugh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The clown dropped to his knees and vomited. Both Trolls erupted into fresh gales of laughter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“It is good to be greeted with mirth,” boomed the adult Troll, in passable Kingdom. “We accept your gifts.” He switched back to a Trollish gargle, and the smaller of the pair marched forward, careful to keep his mouth closed and his fangs hidden.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“We are indeed a mirthful folk,” I said, as the Troll youngster approached. “Mirthful, friendly, and mostly unarmed. My name is Markhat. This is my wife, Darla.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“I’m Jiggles,” said the clown, still mopping his chin with his filthy sleeve. “Pleased to meet you all, yer lordships.” He gave his false nose a desultory honk.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The elder Troll nodded. “We saw the wounded sky, and knew a hurried iron horse approached,” he said. “My son Iron-in-Legs wished to see his namesake, before we quit these lands.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Troll kid took the basket from Darla with a wink. He shoved a handful of apples in his maw and started chewing them before he turned and took the basket back to papa.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Named after a train, is he?” I replied. “Well, that’s a first. Tell you what, Walking Stone. Why not bring your son on the train, let him have a closer look? He could even blow the whistle. Would he like that?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Troll tilted his head at me, and for an awful moment I was afraid I’d unwittingly delivered some dire insult. But then the Troll laughed and exchanged a few words with his son, whose responses were somewhat hampered by his mouthful of half-chewed apples.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“That would indeed be an honor,” the adult Troll replied at last. “Although our agreement with the iron road men does not extend to such liberties.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“It does today,” I said, while Darla tried to shush me. “The iron road men will do as I say. Isn’t that right, dear?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“I sincerely hope it is,” Darla said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I made a sweeping gesture toward the Western Star. “Please, be my guests,” I said. “Bring your horse, if you wish. Our tender car has great big water tanks. He may drink from those.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla bit back a snort.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“That is indeed most generous,” replied the Troll. He turned, and bellowed to the mammoth. It replied with a loud, clearly annoyed sigh and rose from its haunches to lumber up behind the Trolls.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I turned. “Follow us, friends,” I said, and I set off at a good clip.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Mister, you should have been a clown,” said Jiggles. “You’ve got the damned mouth for it.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Never got the hang of juggling,” I replied.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“That engineer is going to be livid,” Darla whispered. “No wonder we’re never invited to parties.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Merely doing my part to establish trust and cooperation with our Trollish brethren,” I replied. Indeed, as the thunderous tromping of the mammoth and the Troll’s happy booming conversation reached the <em>Western Star</em>, dozens of faces turned our way. Most of the crowd milling about outside the train cars made their way hurriedly back inside.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Stoddard was the only man standing by the time my impromptu parade reached the locomotive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“This is Engineer Stoddard,” I said, turning to face the Trolls. “He drives the hurried iron horses. He is delighted to meet you both, and he welcomes you aboard his train with open arms and a smiling, eager heart. Isn’t that right?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“What the hell—” Stoddard began.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Furthermore,” I added, “he invites your mighty horse to slake his thirst from the C&E’s complimentary and no doubt sparkling water. See that the tank car’s water cover is removed, Engineer Stoddard, that’s a good man.” I pushed the sputtering engineer aside and gestured for the Trolls to climb aboard. I’ve not spent much time around mastodons, but this one either knew the word water or his snout functioned as an exceptionally keen nose, because he was already pacing beside the locomotive, exploring its intricate workings with his trunk. “Follow me, gentlemen. Mind your heads. The opening may be a bit low for Trollish persons.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Stoddard cussed but barked out orders. The mastodon eased tensions by lifting its tail and depositing a steaming ten-bushel heap of dung damned nearly in Stoddard’s face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I swung myself up on the locomotive’s step and offered Darla my hand. I moved quickly inside to make room as a furry Troll foot came down on a locomotive’s iron bones for the first time in history, I guessed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The pounding of human feet charging for the back cars sounded over the steady chugging of the steam pistons.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“It stinks,” opined the adult Troll, squeezing his nostrils shut. Even stooped and huddled as best he could, the adult Troll could barely fit his massive frame through the <em>Western Star’s</em> cramped locomotive gangway.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The younger Troll, though, managed to sidle his way all the way to the front of the engine. He gurgled out words that I’m sure meant ‘Look, Papa, shiny machines!’ before he charged directly into the engineer’s cab.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Stoddard, his face the color of burning coal, managed to squeeze himself past the Troll and plant himself firmly in front of the brass levers and wheels that operated the train. “If Trolls wreck this train, I swear I’ll see you pay for it,” he growled at me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Show him the whistle,” I replied. “The kid wants to blow it.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Stoddard’s eyes bulged, but he reached up and pulled hard at a worn iron lever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The <em>Western Star’s</em> steam whistle blew, three short blasts. “Tell him not to tear it out of the works,” said the engineer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The kid didn’t need any prompting. His furry Troll paw closed on the lever and he yanked and let the whistle sound until Poppa Troll muttered something in Troll.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The kid let go. My ears rang, but I kept my smile.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“You can tell everyone you made the hurried iron horses sing,” I said. The elder Troll translated for me, and the kid responded finally with a single solemn Trollish nod.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“You do us honor,” said the elder Troll. He clambered down from the train and stretched, his briefly extended claws flashing bright and white in the sun. “Walk with me, as we depart.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">We walked. The kid took up the rear, stealing glances at the train and munching down apple after apple.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla came too, and didn’t bat an eye when the mastodon’s massive trunk, still dripping from his drink at the tank car, took a curious sniff at her hat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“The hurried iron horse stank of more than the coal,” said the adult Troll as soon as we were well away from the train. “It stank of the magic your folk employ. The dark magic. You have a special word for such stinking magics…”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Sorcery?” I asked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Yes. That word. Be warned. Such a stench alone is cause for alarm, for turning, for seeking a new path. But your peril is threefold. The radiant child approaches from the east. The gray fate from the west, drawn by the dark. This thing you call the train, it is to be a meeting place. You would do well to come with us. My horse may bear the happy burden of many friends.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I nodded, choosing my next words carefully. “I am honored, Walking Stone, to be named among your friends. I must remain with the train, though, as my own friends are bound to it, and I am determined to see them safe.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Troll shrugged. He reached into one of the pouches attached to his belt, and produced a small bundle of weeds and sticks bound together with twine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Take this,” he said, tossing me the bundle. It smelled of sage and Troll. Mostly Troll. “You gave Iron-in-Legs a boon. I give a boon to you. This was blessed by a word from the Wise. Burn it in an hour of need. The smoke will bear the power of the word. May it serve you well.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I nodded gravely. “I thank you, Walking Stone. You do me and mine honor.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Troll blinked, and we set out again, still meandering through the tall plains grass.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“You said earlier you are quitting these lands, Walking Stone,” said Darla, after a time. “Might I ask why?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Troll swiveled his big dark eyes about, and his voice fell to a hoarse Troll whisper. “Many things, dark and light, are awakening,” he said. “Waking, to walk. More join their number with every sunrise. The day is approaching when the old tales will be flesh, the old terrors born anew.” The Troll turned to look at me. “Do your folk not see this too?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“We’ve seen,” I said, thinking of river monsters and the Slilth. “But what are we to do?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“My folk seek our old lands, the lands of the low sun, the lands of ice and the skies of the cold fire,” said the Troll.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">His son spit out a gob of apple-seeds and the elder Troll batted him casually on the back of his head.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Just how far north are you heading?” I asked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“As far as there is land underfoot,” he replied. His voice fell even further. “Though the wise among us say that may not be far enough. Even the face of the Moon is troubled, friend. This is a new thing that even the Wise have not seen.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla’s hand closed on mine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“We wish you well,” I said, when the mastodon halted, and the Trolls gathered by its side. “Safe travels, and warm beds.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“It is a brave man who chooses to walk with death,” the Troll replied. “A brave wife who walks beside him. May your shadows fall tall and your souls grow to meet them.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla gasped. She knew enough about Trollish etiquette to realize what a profound gesture the Troll just made by speaking the traditional blessing to us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Both Trolls made flat-footed flying leaps from the dirt to the mastodon’s furry shoulders. The elder Troll bellowed, and the mastodon turned and trundled away north, trailing horseflies and stink.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Darla and I watched them go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I didn’t realize for a moment she was shivering. It wasn’t cold.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Look, that was all a lot of frontier hooey,” I said. “Trolls are worse than Mama Hog when it comes to seeing boogeymen behind every bush.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“That’s absolutely factual,” said Darla. “But you know damned well everything he said was true. Every word of it.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I frowned. “Radiant children? Gray dooms? Sorcery on the train? Someone knifed a Watchman, sure, but that’s just plain old murder.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">She turned to face me. “Even Bel Loit won’t be far enough, will it?” she asked. I could see her eyes moving, see her taking in the empty grassy plain, the wide blue skies, the retreating mammoth and its riders.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Nothing coming but tomorrow, hon,” I said. “It’ll be just another day. Only difference is that I’ll be slightly more distinguished, and therefore irresistible.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">She kicked me in the shins, but her heart wasn’t in it. I grabbed her up in a fierce hug about the time the <em>Western Star’s</em> whistle began to blow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“That man is furious,” Darla said as we put our backs to the retreating Troll horse and made for the train.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Railroad men,” I said with a dramatic sigh. “Always angry, always in a hurry. They’re not serene like us.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The mammoth bellowed in a long, sonorous reply to the train whistle. We marched on, the grass whipping about our knees.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">A pale gray disk of moon rode high in the cloudless sky. If the face of it was troubled, I couldn’t discern it. I did wonder if Stitches was still up there, cataloging her trove of wonders, all alone.</span></div>
<div id="yui_3_17_2_1_1472413465399_33414" style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The whistle sounded again, three short blasts, and then the <em>Star’s</em> steam engine groaned and roared. Great billows of steam shot from her undercarriage. A fat plume of black coal smoke began to pour from her funnel, and as we watched the mighty pistons stirred and the great iron wheels squealed as they turned.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">We had to run to catch up and haul ourselves aboard. Darla was laughing, and I suppose I was too, and we stood there on the steps for a long time just watching the endless plains quickly pass us by.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>....continued in <em>WAY OUT WEST!</em></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">That's just a very small excerpt from the book. I do hope you'll come along for the ride. </span></div>
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-16243427753460491442016-08-21T17:29:00.001-05:002016-08-21T17:29:21.426-05:00Real Life Hero<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFj73v-vajzzXXpFzRmuI4VILkEYs3eZdFFTMNwr2VAoe5IY6loUD3uWNesgtNmoA9qbFt4Lz8o62_tFzH-L79kc__dKNPYSE6XjiE0F6P6aGX6zON-9ktVgqwKQrPTEcZFn_77AjjbZY/s1600/winter1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFj73v-vajzzXXpFzRmuI4VILkEYs3eZdFFTMNwr2VAoe5IY6loUD3uWNesgtNmoA9qbFt4Lz8o62_tFzH-L79kc__dKNPYSE6XjiE0F6P6aGX6zON-9ktVgqwKQrPTEcZFn_77AjjbZY/s640/winter1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That was the scene in my front yard last February. I post it here because I'm tired of the relentless Mississippi heat, and it's a reminder that the stifling muggy days of summer will soon give way to autumn.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Of course autumn here generally means a quarter of an hour of cool, crisp weather followed by weeks of rain, but the temps do dip down below those required to bake a cake, and I for one will welcome the change.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> Of course, it could be worse. Much worse. Not too far south of here, a storm dumped three feet of water as it passed over the Baton Rouge. I saw one parish sheriff report that most of the residents of his parish, some 155,000 of them, had lost their homes and most of their possessions to flooding. People were trapped on tiny hills along I-55 for days, with nothing but rising water on all sides. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Out of all this, the so-called <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/16/us/louisiana-flooding/">'Cajun Navy' </a>took shape, as commercial fishermen and anyone with a boat took to the water, rescuing trapped residents when no one else could. I was heartened to the people out in boats going after trapped and starving animals, too. There are still kind and brave souls among us, who risk life and limb simply because it's the right thing to do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">An Instagram user named Troy Green took this photo. Here's what heroes look like:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BJG7vdvgbaF/"> https://www.instagram.com/p/BJG7vdvgbaF/</a></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKKNs5ysdF2ZVebQDkHBEb5UUUgReWUCSxeQg5G8MYUEi82hlaPmxIMgRNlj6Nr17bdEheI85MgNxqg5vopfPzYujs35KEtgFeYPoqVkeL-roCZ0qsQISLFZve0mVOWdBUuZ6arf-rqZg/s1600/troy1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="412" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKKNs5ysdF2ZVebQDkHBEb5UUUgReWUCSxeQg5G8MYUEi82hlaPmxIMgRNlj6Nr17bdEheI85MgNxqg5vopfPzYujs35KEtgFeYPoqVkeL-roCZ0qsQISLFZve0mVOWdBUuZ6arf-rqZg/s640/troy1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Amid all the ugliness and violence we see every day, just remember -- there are still good people in the world. People who will brave flood waters to rescue strangers. People who will pull exhausted dogs and cats and even horses and cows from the flood. People who do good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Black and white red and yellow, I think this picture says it better than I ever could -- we're all quite literally in the same boat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>MARKHAT NEWS</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The new Markhat book, WAY OUT WEST, has finished its last editing pass. The final manuscript is now off to the formatters, where it will be magically changed from a Word document to a ebook-friendly file. And a print version file. This will take a few weeks, but after that, it'll be ready for release. I'll announce a release date right here in the blog, so keep watching!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">A week before the release, I'll also reveal the new cover. I've seen it, and it's beautiful. Darla joins Markhat on this cover, and I think it may be the best one yet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>MUG AND MERALDA NEWS</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The new Mug and Meralda book, EVERY WIND OF CHANGE, is now halfway complete! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">A few readers have noted that we know nothing of Meralda's life before she became Mage. This book will address that gap, and introduce a new character rumored, by me right here, to be Meralda's mother. It's not a happy reunion. But it's way too eraly to be posting spoilers, so I'll shut up now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In fact, I'd better get writing, or the book will never get finished. Take care out there, everyone!</span><br />
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-4629061197968234982016-08-07T15:42:00.002-05:002016-08-07T15:42:34.275-05:00Let the Games Begin<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCI6vxR56FjGHTtUm_bDgPlSvahiAHxg-6fn0fjQwdnUbZu9Dc1gjhuVdLWaPqlmY2VbQIsSeD7W2IoZep_nzrdgKKM22y8ER_vuPCUJw5fPDgE03gC3wH79k3jwKPrECT6zz_COfjEt8/s1600/dreamstime_xs_41558487.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCI6vxR56FjGHTtUm_bDgPlSvahiAHxg-6fn0fjQwdnUbZu9Dc1gjhuVdLWaPqlmY2VbQIsSeD7W2IoZep_nzrdgKKM22y8ER_vuPCUJw5fPDgE03gC3wH79k3jwKPrECT6zz_COfjEt8/s320/dreamstime_xs_41558487.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm riveted by the 2016 Summer Olympics.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Riveted to the precise same degree and to the exact extent that I am riveted by State Farm commercials. Actually, that isn't a fair statement. I might actually watch a State Farm commercial, whereas I can't be bothered to even glance at a screen displaying anything Olympic-related.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I know, that's a terrible, awful, unpatriotic thing to say. These athletes have spent their entire lives preparing for this event. Nations have put aside their differences to participate. Fortunes have been spent preparing for the games. I stifle a small yawn.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Sorry, but for me, the Games are just a vast waste of time and resources. But keep in mind I'd make the same claim about most sporting events, all of which ultimately boil down to people chasing balls around. I just don't care who scores the most touchdowns during a tennis match, or which team manages the most home runs during the Super Bowl. American football has cheerleaders, which is nice, but the camera keeps cutting away from them to show the game. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I understand I'm in the minority in this regard. I don't begrudge people who do enjoy sports, although during football season everyone assumes I love them too, which leads to a lot of one-sided conversations about this quarterback's throwing ability or that defense's overall strategy. My neck gets sore from making the 'knowing nod' I've perfected over the years. I've tried politely saying "I don't follow football,' but that phrase is always met with a moment of confusion followed by the same 45 minute diatribe on football I always get. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Olympics might be more interesting if the sports featured were more in line with the current geopolitical situation. Here are a few events I'd like to suggest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">1) SCAVENGER HUNT. Ignoring the filth and pollution of Rio's waterways is the wrong choice. Instead, embrace the environment! Instead of swimming and kayaking through the pestilence-ridden sludge, assign each team a list of items they must retrieve from the murky waters. Human body parts, dead animals, cast-off furniture, specific bacterial pathogens -- imagine the thrill of watching swimmers drag limbless torsos toward the finish line while their rivals struggle to push an old Barcalounger ahead. Now that's a dramatic finish.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2) RUSSIAN ROPE-A-DOPE. If there's anything the Russian teams enjoy more than vodka, it's a solid regimen of performance-enhancing chemicals carefully designed to maximize physical prowess and evade detection by pesky drug tests. Let's make a sport of that by allowing rival teams to simply beef up with good old-fashioned crystal meth before a special one-on-one matchup. Play Benny Hill background music during the meets. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">3) MIXED MEDIA. Let's add the element of surprise to the Games by randomly assigning each athlete to a different team before the contests take place. Watch sprinters try to dive. See hockey players compete in bicycle races. Strap ice skates on weightlifters and fire up the Celine Dion tunes. I might even watch that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">4) MINEFIELD AND TRACK. I think the name says it all. Pole vaulting is a lot more fun to watch when explosions are involved. They needn't be lethal explosions, just ones designed to finally give these guys some real altitude. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">5) URBAN ENDURANCE RUNNING. Forget the boring oval track -- send the runners right through Rio, after strapping belts filled with cash around their waists. What is it the Olympic ads always say? "Records will be set. And broken." Darn right they will.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">6) ROCKET ASSISTED LUGE. Sleds sliding down an icy track. Boring! Rocket-powered sleds blazing up the icy track from the bottom before being launched into the sky? Now that's athletic. All right, all right. Give the teams parachutes. Way to take the fun out of everything, Captain Buzzkill.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">7) DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. A table, some dice, pens and paper. Just play D&D the way it was meant to be played, but with dramatic lighting and a John Williams musical score. Still better than curling, which is just bloody silly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">8) CALVINBALL. From the comic strip 'Calvin and Hobbes,' a game in which the players make up the rules as they play. Ghost bases! Invisible runners! Opposite zones! Scores of eleven hundred and sixty to blue. Listen, if people can get so excited about a game they'll actually sit still for three hours of soccer, Calvinball will take the world by storm. At least the inevitable post-game riots will be amusing to watch as furious crowds fight over whether a Phantom Double-Secret Fire Goal is valid if scored inside a five-point Silent Spy Zone. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">9) FASHION FOOTBALL. Play soccer -- but play it dressed in the formal attire of each nation, right down to the dress shoes and the corsages. Play must be executed while weddings, funerals, and other somber events take place on the playing field. Include the players in these events as ushers, caterers, even celebrants. Seeing pall-bearers defend their goal while carrying a coffin would add drama to the match. Huddle up, bridesmaids!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">10) ARMS RACE. This will really shake things up. Before each Olympics, a single nation must agree to surrender a randomly chosen military asset as the prize in this bout. Athletes might be competing for a North Korean rowboat fitted with an antique SCUD missile, or they might be vying for a US-built Casablanca class aircraft carrier -- but they won't know until after the winner is announced. Great fun, especially as the cameras zoom in on the faces of horrified diplomats as they realize they must now deal with a nuclear-capable People's Free And Very Much Yes Democratic Republic of Lower Violencestan. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You're welcome, International Olympic Committee. Please use any of these suggestions as you see fit, and as you have time to consider them amid the press of fraud scandals and bribe-laundering.</span><br />
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-30768542135152802332016-07-31T19:12:00.003-05:002016-07-31T19:12:57.360-05:00Frank's Handy Guide to Living in the Wasteland, Part 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Regardless of where you fall (or more likely crash-land) on the political spectrum, one thing seems certain, at least according to every single internet comments section I've read -- we're doomed.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc6BtmUP-eOsbtQhR4miBybPMWfnYpv-7HEIr2p-qFFQzn2IvyD3v86MOqZEphGBN64XU15Ywb6MvTE9IBCU1gSmFRnTmD7G7WTHKjSCcTytyVdaBDoKfWDCqgMUO5VsfN2YigWfmSSeY/s1600/dreamstime_xs_60034744.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc6BtmUP-eOsbtQhR4miBybPMWfnYpv-7HEIr2p-qFFQzn2IvyD3v86MOqZEphGBN64XU15Ywb6MvTE9IBCU1gSmFRnTmD7G7WTHKjSCcTytyVdaBDoKfWDCqgMUO5VsfN2YigWfmSSeY/s400/dreamstime_xs_60034744.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is it, boys and girls, cry the naysayers. Western civilization is about to grind to a halt, topple over, and leave us all standing bewildered in a smoking, acrid ruin.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I don't believe that. But, just in case my cheerful optimism turns out to be wrong, there are things we all need to know about living in a Mad Max dystopia. As usual, I'm here to help.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So gather round! I'll start a fire in this rusty oil drum (cast-off oil drums are, of course, a staple of post-apocalypse settings), and we can discuss how to best survive once the Rule of Law goes the way of the dodo, the VHS tape, and people who sat quietly in movie theaters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>BANDIT FASHION</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The first thing you'll need to learn is how to maraud properly. There is an etiquette to the practice, and perhaps just as importantly, a style. Take a quick look at what you're wearing, right now. Then, after putting on pants, (and I'm truly sorry I remotely activated your laptop's camera), think about how your outfit will hold up while you roll around on the parched dessert sand wrestling for the Earth's last intact box of chocolate fudge Pop-Tarts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Not going to work, is it? Forget the Dockers, the thin cotton Beatles tee, the flimsy deck shoes. No, you're going to want leather, and lots of it. Leather pants. A leather jacket. Biker boots with extra-stompy heels and soles. I'm just assuming leather underwear also comes into play. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Too hot, you say?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Well, buttercup, get used to sweating, because the Wasteland doesn't have any patience with your pre-apocalypse ideas about air conditioning or comfort. In fact, start each day by rubbing the slightly radioactive soil right in your face. First, it makes your skin less reflective, and therefore less of a target for the mutant snipers hiding in the ruins of that Costco you're planning to raid. Second, grunge is the new squeaky-clean, and if you think your social life is lacking now just you wait. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Look the part, people. Get dirty and stay that way. Super-Glue your hair into spikes. Paint your face with whatever will serve as a pigment. You want to look fierce, because you aren't the only one out there scavenging for gasoline. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>POST-APOCALYPSE TRANSPORTATION</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Speaking of gasoline, you'll want some. All you can get, because your heavily-armored Toyota Corolla won't run on radioactive rainwater.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What? You haven't started welding spikes to the hood of your car yet?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sigh. Yes, I know what that will do to the resale value -- but we're talking the End Times here. Start strapping armor to your car RIGHT NOW. If you don't have a car, okay, use whatever you've got, but don't come whining to me when you try facing down rival gangs on your militarized Craftsman riding lawn mower only to face a barrage of hurtful sarcasm. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Motorcycles are another favored form of transportation in the Wasteland. You'll look good, speeding down the eerily quiet streets, and you'll be glad you're wearing all that leather when you get knocked over by the nice lady who used to run your book club. Of course now she calls herself Queen of Fifth Street and she's aiming a bazooka at your head, but due to your cat-like reflexes and the fact that she's pointing the thing backwards, you've got time to compliment her hair spikes before making your getaway on foot.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Vehicles to avoid, even in the Mutant Badlands, include tricycles, those bloody stupid hoverboards, and of course Jeep Wranglers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>IMPROVISED WEAPONS</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure you've heard someone say 'anything can be used as a weapon.' Which may be true, at least figuratively, but the guy wielding the salad tongs is unlikely to emerge victorious no matter how well-executed his face paint might be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">No, you'll want guns. One on each hip, a rifle slung across your back, a snub-nosed .38 stuck down your right boot, and a second small handgun secreted down the back of your leather pants. If you lack such an arsenal, well, do the best you can. Comically large hammers look imposing. Swords too, although if the blade falls off the hilt every time you draw it the effect is certainly lessened. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Look around your garage. There's probably a golf club or two out there. Maybe a hockey stick, or a baseball bat. Do NOT yell 'Fore!' before you swing the golf club. A muttered 'Batter up!' is acceptable when employing a baseball bat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Every kitchen has an assortment of knives. Decorate the handles and blades with permanent markers. Skulls are a favored motif. Avoid the depiction of smiley faces or motivational poster messages. This is the Wasteland, and nobody wants to be reminded that 'Every problem is an opportunity in disguise.' </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>NAMING YOURSELF</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There are no Mr. Joneses or Miss Twilleys in the Wasteland.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Start referring to yourself as 'Cruncher' or 'Crazy Teeth.' Everyone in the Wastes has a catchy new name. It needs to be vaguely threatening but also contain just the right touch of gallows humor. Don't lay it on too thick; calling yourself 'Lord Deathstrike, Emperor of Lower Duluth' invites both scorn and small arms fire. Stick with one or two words. Forget what you did before it all fell apart -- Larry the Accountant is not a suitable moniker when you're competing socially against a mad-eyed cannibal named Crazy Teeth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>YOUR GANG</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There is no "I" in Apocalypse, unless your face-paint is so toxic you can't remember how to spell. In any case, you'll need a tightly-woven gang of at least a half-dozen fellow survivors to have any chance at keeping the desperate hordes at bay.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The people you'll need most will be a mechanic, a doctor, a demolition expert, a Mafia assassin, and a taciturn sword-wielding Ninja. The people you'll have will be a copier repairman, Betty from Payroll, a homeless guy who hasn't even noticed the world just ended, the real estate salesperson you found hiding in your closet, and the shady dude who used to operate the kiosk at the parking garage. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Still, that's what you've got. Maybe if you maraud mostly at night no one will notice shady guy's pot belly or Betty's insistence that everyone stop what they are doing and look for a functional expresso machine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>YOUR LAIR</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You'll need a place to store your looted snack foods. You'll need somewhere to shelter from the roving bands of bikers angered by the sudden widespread adoption of their preferred wardrobe style. Your tidy two-story faux-Tudor house simply won't do, and anyway that half of town burned to the ground during the first night of rioting. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Instead, locate an underground missile silo with foot-thick steel doors and concrete barricades blocking the gate. If you can't find one, okay, I guess a derelict Subway sandwich shop will do. Reinforce the doors, avoid showing any lights at night, and ignore the real estate person's endless lectures on how the property is sadly undervalued in today's bullet-based economy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>ESTABLISH TRADE</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When the last checkout lane in the last Walmart shuts down, you'll find that toilet paper is the new gold, and dented cans of Van Camps Beenie Weenies command the sort of economic clout huge wads of cash did in the Old Days. Sure, money is no more, but homeless guy's shopping cart full of dollar-store tuna is now worth more than an old world yacht.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Be smart with your meager supplies. Your gang has tuna and one-ply. The gang down the street has ammunition and a vending machine filled with Snickers bars. Establish a dialog, after a polite exchange of gunfire. An exchange rate will work itself out, and if you play your cards right, you'll be dining on chocolate by the light of a flickering trash fire. That's a good day, in the Wasteland.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>FINAL WORDS</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In between all the running and shooting and arguing over who is mutating faster, don't forget to have some fun, now and then. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Prank rival gangs by egging their makeshift tanks. Restore an old radio station, and then play nothing but the same Nickelback song. Exceed the recommended daily allowance of carbohydrates. It's the Apocalypse, you guys. Nothing is going on your permanent record. You don't have to file taxes, or set the alarm for six, or even change your leather underwear twice a week. It's a Nihilist free-for-all, at least until the alien attack armada arrives, but that's a different TV show.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Look me up, after the dust settles. I'll be known as 'Frank,' since nicknames just don't stick on me. I'll be the pale guy tugging at his itchy leather pants and still pissed that he never binge-watched 'Game of Thrones' when he had the chance.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Now start hoarding Charmin, folks. We don't have much time.</span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-72331247770432803932016-07-24T18:01:00.004-05:002016-07-24T18:02:24.595-05:00Fun Link Roundup<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This week, I'm setting aside my banal ramblings to introduce you to a few links I think are funny. Some of you may already be familiar with some of them, but maybe you'll find something you didn't know about in the mix. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>BAD COVERS</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Go browsing through Amazon's bookstore, and as soon as you get out of the best-sellers you'll start seeing covers so awful you'll sometimes stop to take a second look because, you think, surely no one intentionally saddled a poor innocent book with such a cringe-inducing cover.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">But the truth is, the place is littered with hilariously awful cover art. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I found a site that catalogs such covers. It's worth a look, if you're bored and you have a strong stomach. Consider it a crash-course in how NOT to make a cover.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">See them here, at <a data-cke-saved-href="http://lousybookcovers.tumblr.com/" href="http://lousybookcovers.tumblr.com/" style="background: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;">http://lousybookcovers.tumblr.com/</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>BAD PRINCESSES</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The premise sounds strange, but give it a chance. The folks make hilarious 'rap battles' between fantasy princesses. There are quite a few, but here are a couple of links to get you started.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Ariel versus Snow White: click <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcrQvoCzs80" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcrQvoCzs80" style="background: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;">here.</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Hermione Granger versus Katniss Everdeen: click <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_3561393455&feature=iv&src_vid=gcrQvoCzs80&v=D9Mv6gXqADM" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_3561393455&feature=iv&src_vid=gcrQvoCzs80&v=D9Mv6gXqADM" style="background: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;">here</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>EPIC BATTLES</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Tolkien versus George R. R. Martin, and a host of others. You'll love these.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Tolkien Versus Martin: click <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAAp_luluo0" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAAp_luluo0" style="background: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;">here.</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>THE HILLYWOOD SHOW</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Hillywoods do parody videos, and they do them RIGHT. My favorite is the one I'm linking to, which is a musical Dr. Who number set, of course, to 'Let's do the Time Warp Again.' Brilliant stuff -- the Walking Dead entry is hilarious too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Do the Time Warp: Click <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WBqHdI5Bdw" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WBqHdI5Bdw" style="background: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;">here.</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>MORE ART</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Hope you enjoy the links above!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I've been working hard on the new Mug and Meralda this week. Made a lot of progress. I also started a new Meralda art project, and while it's a long way from being done, here are a couple of test renders.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Meralda is seated at the controls of a huge clunky walking engine. Here's a render of her atop it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">And here's another test shot, of her taking the engine on a stroll through Tirlin's famous park.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">I'll be refining these as I have time. But the actual book takes first priority.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 22px;">In Markhat news, I've started on the second round edits for WAY OUT WEST. Which means a release isn't far off. I also have a cover, which I'll be revealing here as soon as this round of edits is done.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 22px;">That's it for this week! Take care, people. Smile at someone. </span></div>
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-975445987431668512016-07-17T18:45:00.000-05:002016-07-17T18:45:09.308-05:00Worth a Thousand Words<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">There are few worse things to befall a writer than the discovery of a new addiction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Last week I posted a few images of Meralda Ovis, and indicated I might post more from time to time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I didn't expect to spend so much time making more of them so soon, but I did. Oh, I wrote too; I haven't abandoned the new Mug and Meralda book, which is coming along (finally) at a good pace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've found that making these images helps me stay focused on the book. Creating them is time-consuming and tedious, yes, but it also lets me explore my characters in an entirely new way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I think you'll find these new pictures are a good bit more detailed and realistic than the first offerings. I've been playing with lighting and posing -- if none of that interests you, by all means just scroll down to the pics. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But if you're curious about how the pictures were made, here's a behind-the-scenes look.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">First, posing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Every 3D default character available has an internal skeleton, right down to the small bones in the fingers and the toes. You select your bone, and then you can move it left to right, up or down, or with a twist. The trick is to select one of the pre-shaped poses and tweak it to your needs. For these pictures that will follow, I selected a sitting pose, took the come-hither aspect of it down several thousand notches, and then put her hand on her chin. Then you wrestle with clothes, because they don't just automatically fit your figure's body (well, sleeves do, and the top, more or less, but shirts? No way).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Add a Victorian settee and a room with appropriate wallpaper, and you've got yourself a scene.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here's the first render I took, which was a close up of Meralda's face.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYKmqKiUQJG5Itw1f9QwOuXzSGpUjHTAznx3GVio1ne1xvBmZtzb5pijgTI2tPoRZke49o7O5xCROKGC8tbJi8omJkLxMCyysxI7eJQbqGV7i7XZiPK3rjcoKh45BK1RSg8-HmPh1XURA/s1600/Merportrait2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="572" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYKmqKiUQJG5Itw1f9QwOuXzSGpUjHTAznx3GVio1ne1xvBmZtzb5pijgTI2tPoRZke49o7O5xCROKGC8tbJi8omJkLxMCyysxI7eJQbqGV7i7XZiPK3rjcoKh45BK1RSg8-HmPh1XURA/s640/Merportrait2.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's not bad. Her fingers are perfectly positioned. She stands out from the dark background. There are realistic shadows.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But it lacks drama. I used the classic 3-point lighting system, which consists of a bright spotlight close to her face, just above her head, positioned not directly in front of her but at about 45 degrees to the right of her. That's called a 'key' light.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">To keep the left side of her face from being lost in shadow, I added a second light, the so-called 'fill' light. It was close to the floor, not quite as bright as the key light, and aimed up at her face.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Finally, I added a third light, right behind her, aimed at the back of her head. This is the 'kicker' light, and it serves to put a highlight around her silhouette, so she doesn't get vanish against the dark background.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The lights worked, more or less.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But I wanted a touch of shadow on her face. Too, her eyes -- I wanted to try and have her looking at the camera, and thus you, the viewer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A word about messing with eyes. You have to adjust them one at a time, which means you can easily come up with some truly bizarre pictures while you're adjusting them. It's also possible to accidentally pull them right out of their sockets. But don't worry, I quickly put them back in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You can't really see what you're doing except in the most basic, cartoonish way while you're doing it. Until you render the scene, which takes 3 or 4 hours each for the images presented here, you can't be sure what you're going to get. You can spot-render small areas, which I did, but that too is an iffy proposition. My kicker light kept spilling onto her ear lobes and cheek, resulting in weird white patches that ruined every one of those full renders.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So I changed things around, and came up with a new image. Same pose, but with changes to her eyes, camera angle, and intensity of all the scene lights.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4zSc5FWH-qvxmESmlRGdNEEC25HvNmJr4j2tu72KJs6RYt8pQpNnVasrMIUQOoCl5iXf1wLPFq3VK7GEXK13UcENx4kd0qJ0L0V-ZHsK8wroD8fYyoLq_0GmHxmYk5Lx_9gsO6cUfKDE/s1600/MeraldaPortrait1A.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="572" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4zSc5FWH-qvxmESmlRGdNEEC25HvNmJr4j2tu72KJs6RYt8pQpNnVasrMIUQOoCl5iXf1wLPFq3VK7GEXK13UcENx4kd0qJ0L0V-ZHsK8wroD8fYyoLq_0GmHxmYk5Lx_9gsO6cUfKDE/s640/MeraldaPortrait1A.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">That's a little better. But I still didn't get the shadows I was looking for. So I tried again, knocking the lumens down on every light by nearly half.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTn3bbTueMvO7eW90ULkJPYUdNQUoyE5tcallg67yhPMhPqaaw07mNidZV4ke9g7dA6izsJfstEMP8UaYPu59eU8K7vHYKgF0evNk2uhXRfTR42JHrjfTApm2UXlSWVu2pHuVkcaI56ZM/s1600/Meraldaportrait2c.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="572" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTn3bbTueMvO7eW90ULkJPYUdNQUoyE5tcallg67yhPMhPqaaw07mNidZV4ke9g7dA6izsJfstEMP8UaYPu59eU8K7vHYKgF0evNk2uhXRfTR42JHrjfTApm2UXlSWVu2pHuVkcaI56ZM/s640/Meraldaportrait2c.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">After some tweaking in PaintShop, I wound up with the image above. It's my best portrait so far. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I've got one other Meralda image to show. This one isn't a portrait; she's outside, in one of the Palace gardens, dressed in her Laboratory work clothes.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIcIHh5RLegFD1P_whPhG5axeRWo4Cz5DwmQTp8xOMmwDeKAC5he3TtCXwtb9Q7kaGzLEIjhfm0K2qiE2HXrk0PQ9gM5-e3V-J9X2aQT4EBHYlTDJk5S1v-9VmAGZixTCza5VUswIjlpQ/s1600/Meralda+in+the+Sun+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="518" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIcIHh5RLegFD1P_whPhG5axeRWo4Cz5DwmQTp8xOMmwDeKAC5he3TtCXwtb9Q7kaGzLEIjhfm0K2qiE2HXrk0PQ9gM5-e3V-J9X2aQT4EBHYlTDJk5S1v-9VmAGZixTCza5VUswIjlpQ/s640/Meralda+in+the+Sun+2.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Hope you enjoyed the pics! There will be more. One day I'll manage to create a convincing Mug, but that day is not here. A 3D model of a plant with 29 eyes is going to take more skill than I've got at the moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And now, a small rant about the clothing usually depicted for fantasy females.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Look, no one, barbarian warrior queen or powerful spell-hurling sorceress, can go around fighting in a handful of straps, a thong, and high heels. I know, book covers sell books, and sex sells -- well, anything, but sheesh. A little realism wouldn't hurt, now and then. And though I'm not a woman, would most women go to their closets and say "You know what? I think I'll head into some deadly conflict wearing this Victoria's Secret lingerie. Yes, that is certainly the right choice. And these six-inch stiletto heels. Maybe a single brass bracer on my left arm, just in case things get rough. Oh, and Spandex panties. Yeah, that's the ticket."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I doubt it. I have nothing against the female form. Quite the contrary. But maybe it's time we stopped using women as marketing tools 24/7. Rant over.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'll leave you with two final images. First, another of Darla, from The Markhat Files.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOE93xXQGXXx3g_1R9sg3izS8T9HG1rDC3d3h86zR15i5MO9PJSXIoFrezdON_T87lp6GtvS-irE0_IzvBhLvDpqcdlS78g7jyKwOoHwTS4CqOuWGRNAqAiKX4XEg_MTurgbmEevivz78/s1600/DarlaforBlog.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOE93xXQGXXx3g_1R9sg3izS8T9HG1rDC3d3h86zR15i5MO9PJSXIoFrezdON_T87lp6GtvS-irE0_IzvBhLvDpqcdlS78g7jyKwOoHwTS4CqOuWGRNAqAiKX4XEg_MTurgbmEevivz78/s400/DarlaforBlog.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And now for something completely different.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ever wonder where toads hide during the day? Well, in our case, they take refuge from the sun inside concrete cinder blocks. I give you four friendly toads lounging in the cool shade. Have a good week, folks! Be careful out there.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi98sInAoAunsgFLR7g6-4RYmxEQ8XId7_GVb-e_oCUV-d9MYUv6qAGTK9rFikCkg5Us61wWouoSh2HkbKqwgQxXcZFp0yjf9fdSmEGvu88wRT4Pcsn1ssGaMh0mXbdN85YRaHDTWEswNw/s1600/blogfrog3b.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi98sInAoAunsgFLR7g6-4RYmxEQ8XId7_GVb-e_oCUV-d9MYUv6qAGTK9rFikCkg5Us61wWouoSh2HkbKqwgQxXcZFp0yjf9fdSmEGvu88wRT4Pcsn1ssGaMh0mXbdN85YRaHDTWEswNw/s640/blogfrog3b.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-83214483022207460422016-07-10T15:42:00.002-05:002016-07-10T15:42:27.588-05:00Rendering Meralda<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">I've written here before concerning my status as a talentless and therefore frustrated graphic artist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Pens, pencils, brushes -- I wield them all with the same skill and artistic flair as would last October's Halloween pumpkin. In fact the jack-o-lantern, despite its lack of appendages, would probably produce better art than me about half the time simply by rolling its mushy decaying bulk over the blank pages.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm that bad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But I do know my way around a mouse and a keyboard, and at long last, I've found software I can use to actually create images worth looking at.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The software, DAZ 3D Studio 4.9, is free. You can download it yourself, if you have a desire to try your hand at 3D graphic imaging. I did so last week, and after watching the tutorial videos, I set out to create Meralda Ovis, the heroine of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BWVEL4C/ref=series_rw_dp_sw">All the Paths of Shadow</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00PP6KKZ4/ref=series_rw_dp_sw">All The Turns of Light</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you haven't read the books, Meralda is a bookish, shy genius who single-handedly revolutionizes flight on her world while saving it. The setting is vaguely Victorian, though Meralda's home isn't on the Earth we know. I've described her as having reddish-brown hair and brown eyes, but I always had a picture in my mind of what she looks like.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now you can see that very same picture. So, without further adieu, I give you Meralda Ovis, Royal Thaumaturge to the Kingdom of Tirlin.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS0FiY2YSy9Azj_kt8zxBd-X3PBWe7IIEPmEorQQ4srhdfdi2wEA8oMt7rQuxds2SIeAen_4mGPIbNiOaX1u9Xs78tdvF2JtNtsy1MlOiYsuTxA0ALYpHWnTpylOH3WViRHe-CJ2bCIms/s1600/BlogMerclose1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="570" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS0FiY2YSy9Azj_kt8zxBd-X3PBWe7IIEPmEorQQ4srhdfdi2wEA8oMt7rQuxds2SIeAen_4mGPIbNiOaX1u9Xs78tdvF2JtNtsy1MlOiYsuTxA0ALYpHWnTpylOH3WViRHe-CJ2bCIms/s640/BlogMerclose1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The image above may be my favorite one of the bunch. I love her expression; she's clearly up to something. I think I made her hair just the right amount of messy -- she's got better things to do than sit in front of a dressing mirror all day.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNJU9J3CNQyr4eXUpoKL0PmtjPRCwkx6y32SXpAHL0Vsvr1cXPL5b6m6FD1aln5X-u83VuOrFgA32A2gTW23J6wNbs8G1WsvLvcRqeHtpUfNhBTnE-lLn-_QCMUGY-ZscGnGc5U7HRU2k/s1600/BlogMerstanding1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNJU9J3CNQyr4eXUpoKL0PmtjPRCwkx6y32SXpAHL0Vsvr1cXPL5b6m6FD1aln5X-u83VuOrFgA32A2gTW23J6wNbs8G1WsvLvcRqeHtpUfNhBTnE-lLn-_QCMUGY-ZscGnGc5U7HRU2k/s640/BlogMerstanding1.jpg" width="522" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">More of the coat in this image. Yes, I know her brooch vanished. Mainly because this is an earlier render, and I realized it was gone and replaced it in the first image.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But the detail is pretty amazing, considering my machine is hardly ideal for use as a graphics engine. I believe this picture took at least two hours to 'render,' which is a term describing the processing that takes place between the cartoonish first image and the final product.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9ssST9WjiwPMW1VSolqCzJeF_yRyKeeWHCNl3-sDViLKF2Tb45oj9AOFPBxr30q94ji0DruMd9EsHPTXFBzDR1ZSmj67u-w0-le7yFkOS1WYEasbIo8Nwu_7w8tCSlyP7dyHllmHDnZk/s1600/BlogMerstanding4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9ssST9WjiwPMW1VSolqCzJeF_yRyKeeWHCNl3-sDViLKF2Tb45oj9AOFPBxr30q94ji0DruMd9EsHPTXFBzDR1ZSmj67u-w0-le7yFkOS1WYEasbIo8Nwu_7w8tCSlyP7dyHllmHDnZk/s640/BlogMerstanding4.jpg" width="492" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Different placement, noonday lighting. I also changed her expression slightly. These are the clothes I tried to describe in the books -- long skirts, coat, sleeves, all that. Meralda as quite clear on several points, one being that if she was EVER dressed in a leather mini-skirt (as cover art fantasy females are often portrayed) I might find myself with the head of a duck. One does not meddle with Thaumaturges if one values one's human appearance.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFwqfX3fyNK8WICShKWi7v-hKfWaYsiTbe1nMkgKlB5TwpiaDiKuncYLVk8nubR_vF05zQAM24eiiU_HFSDwFPTeL5XrejWrwafjOboYyWKSbpyh4TNj_uwJFy_MrbKUKhYJVQrgLayvs/s1600/BlogMerstanding5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="572" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFwqfX3fyNK8WICShKWi7v-hKfWaYsiTbe1nMkgKlB5TwpiaDiKuncYLVk8nubR_vF05zQAM24eiiU_HFSDwFPTeL5XrejWrwafjOboYyWKSbpyh4TNj_uwJFy_MrbKUKhYJVQrgLayvs/s640/BlogMerstanding5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Another version. I liked it, but the eye makeup was a bit overly dramatic when it rendered. I can't see her wearing that to the Laboratory, knowing she'd need to touch it up half a dozen times during the day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you're curious, setting up each of these images takes me a couple of hours. Posing is the hardest part, at least for me. Each model has a fully articulated internal skeleton, and you move the subject by selecting the bones and adjusting them. It's not a speedy process. There are stock poses, of course, but even those require tweaking so clothes fit correctly.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnQn19TP16JlnD6CuNCylOo_79DWeAAgNI_8QbA8vMY4kGq7oAj5UF274fTK9UVWpCXsdl6y6Vw7gLcz0AsfnsCDCfLq-tmDCjLvB25yAJOS0VlVXx8RoQVmUXRluo8Y7LtupTKmw0V9I/s1600/BlogMerWB1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="596" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnQn19TP16JlnD6CuNCylOo_79DWeAAgNI_8QbA8vMY4kGq7oAj5UF274fTK9UVWpCXsdl6y6Vw7gLcz0AsfnsCDCfLq-tmDCjLvB25yAJOS0VlVXx8RoQVmUXRluo8Y7LtupTKmw0V9I/s640/BlogMerWB1.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Meralda against a plain white background, with a different expression. Yes, she has long fingers. And the shoulder ruffles of her coat need work, but overall I was pleased.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFxiAVc4BY1pn3tqU6TKc1NJhbRCNQv3pLJ-g3cgeVvEx8Gwoa4dzwkLKDo8KWTpYfSH2hxI91CVWVf1fruGHTRnakRY8pIoE6R0LznUIBIIRz0_kwSYDNg0-k61sgx6KeC81rlhfh5B0/s1600/BlogMerWB2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="598" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFxiAVc4BY1pn3tqU6TKc1NJhbRCNQv3pLJ-g3cgeVvEx8Gwoa4dzwkLKDo8KWTpYfSH2hxI91CVWVf1fruGHTRnakRY8pIoE6R0LznUIBIIRz0_kwSYDNg0-k61sgx6KeC81rlhfh5B0/s640/BlogMerWB2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">A close-up. There is a flaw in this image; a stray reflection from her right earring splashed light on her cheek, and I don't have time to move my lights in the scene and render a new image for today's blog. The rendering process is insanely detailed -- every object reflects or absorbs light as a real physical object would, and individual rays are traced and wind up in the final scene. I've had to learn a lot of lighting and real-world studio photography to produce faces that aren't washed out on one side and hidden in shadow on the other.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So, tell me what you think in the comments! If you've read the books, does this image match yours? I'm curious to see how my image compares to yours.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">One last note -- I'm still offering fantasy-based diplomas for sale, so if you'd like a degree in Applied Thaumaturgy to hang on your wall, click your way toward my <a href="http://www.fantasydiplomas.com/">fantasydiplomas</a> site.</span><br />
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-15817494254258230962016-07-03T16:16:00.004-05:002016-07-03T16:16:45.533-05:00Top of Your Class<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Self-publishing, done right, ain't cheap. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes, I know the correct phrase is <i>self-publishing, done right, isn't cheap</i>. But the use of <i>ain't</i> adds folksy emphasis. Perhaps it is even endearing. Pardon me while I look down at the worn toes of my battered shoes and mutter 'Aw, shucks.'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now that the initial embarrassing moment is out of the way, I'd like to announce a new business venture aimed squarely at defraying some of the costs of bringing the new Markhat book to market. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">No, it's not a Kickstarter or a GoFundMe. You actually get something, for your 5 hard-earned bucks. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">You get an ornate, custom-designed diploma, printed on good heavy paper, suitable for framing. A diploma from a wholly fictional school, created entirely by me, customized with your name and your desired degree. Suitable for framing (I'll even send you a link to a seven dollar frame that works perfectly with the document). </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Curious? Then click your eager little clicky fingers on the URL below, and have a look at the offerings. All designed and executed by me. Website hand coded (obviously) by me. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.fantasydiplomas.com/index.html"><span style="font-size: large;">CLICK HERE FOR FANTASY DIPLOMAS DOT COM</span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">There's a diploma, signed by Mama Hog herself, from Mama Hog's School of Divination and Potions and Hexing. There's also one from Meralda's alma mater, the Tirlin College of Science and Thaumaturgy. And several others as well, so go have a look!</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">ART FOR ART'S SAKE</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The Universe often plays mean tricks on its inhabitants.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Take me, for instance. I've always wanted to draw, or paint. While I've painted many a wall, badly, and drawn quite a few circuit diagrams or plans for sheds or roofs, I couldn't draw a marginally-convincing stick figure if you dangled a sack of money over the page.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I just don't have any talent in that area. No, that's not right.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I have a lack of talent so profound it's actually a negative talent in that area.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Which hasn't stopped me from trying. Most of my pen-and-paper efforts simply experience spontaneous combustion well before they are complete, presumably out of shame. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My digital efforts were no more successful. I tried Poser 10, a well-regarded character creation program, until it started returning error codes that read 'Look, can't you find ANYTHING else to do?' and 'Seriously, dude, go outside and enjoy some sunlight.'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But hope springs eternal. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I don't have Photoshop, because that bag of money I mentioned earlier was snatched away as soon as I tried to draw a stick-man's stick foot. But I do have two fairly powerful graphics programs, that I use to create images for this website, and just for fun. They are:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Corel Paint Shop Pro X8 (about 79 dollars new, for the Ulimate Pro edition)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Corel Painter Essentials 5 (20 dollars)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I play with them when I'm stuck writing. Now, from time to time, I'll post some of the images I've created using them here, in case any other hamfisted artist wannabees are curious.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The one below is of Darla, from The Markhat Files. In the new book, Darla and Markhat spend some time in Bel Loit, and go out dancing at a night club called Tall Thin Louie's. In the image below, Darla is passing in front of one of Bel Loit's many tumbledown cemeteries, in her evening gown.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIliNqWVqq2P85K4KhZIGdWQOZD31OupGNMJqjiHQV1Ul7DQ1-kWQw8KaKD9a_xFJLTwjEdl53rhgXrs9wL0J20dQxGhQjQOfX8GLIW45qgkbCvNDP57e1Gx1MC2E2Kl0Disa70oQgq7s/s1600/DarlaBe+Loit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIliNqWVqq2P85K4KhZIGdWQOZD31OupGNMJqjiHQV1Ul7DQ1-kWQw8KaKD9a_xFJLTwjEdl53rhgXrs9wL0J20dQxGhQjQOfX8GLIW45qgkbCvNDP57e1Gx1MC2E2Kl0Disa70oQgq7s/s640/DarlaBe+Loit.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Bel Loit, unlike Rannit, doesn't have a halfdead population (well, they do, but it's very small, and fiercely secretive). So no crematoriums, no dead wagons. Just graveyards. Which may or may not be peaceful places, after dark...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Markhat isn't pictured because he still looks like a crack-crazed Gumby and that's no fun for anyone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Coming up -- Meralda, Mama Hog, Slim, Evis, and anyone else I can manage. </span></div>
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-24889516466255345572016-06-26T20:35:00.004-05:002016-06-26T20:35:50.527-05:00Markhat News<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJZxf5rNtgc3RCr1FHxDTcnmE5BXRFP7UN7inx4PFy5dZnwILokZ5lr59rTsK3Ln_PJaiJJPGrtGCZMXtn9bIv2A-Fgf_XjUq6MTUh4co6runYmX-2tN_ETSlqzHUt7mavtoX-Kx7_IcQ/s1600/DarkerCarnival-The300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJZxf5rNtgc3RCr1FHxDTcnmE5BXRFP7UN7inx4PFy5dZnwILokZ5lr59rTsK3Ln_PJaiJJPGrtGCZMXtn9bIv2A-Fgf_XjUq6MTUh4co6runYmX-2tN_ETSlqzHUt7mavtoX-Kx7_IcQ/s640/DarkerCarnival-The300.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It is with emotion bordering on giddiness that I announce my Markhat series titles will NOT be fading into oblivion in the wake of February's announcement that Samhain Publishing was shutting down.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">After restructuring, Samhain has decided to remain in business. Which means my existing Markhat titles will remain on sale, in both print and ebook formats, just as they've been for the last several years.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Better still, the new Markhat book, WAY OUT WEST, may hit the stands in the next couple of months. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And the new Markhat book, tentatively entitled THE DEVIL'S HORN, is already underway.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I know, that's a surprising turn of events. But that's publishing -- change is the only constant.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">To those of you who sent emails and messages of encouragement, thanks. You will never know much your words meant to me. I'm not ashamed to say that news of Samhain's shutdown gutted me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So, Markhat and Darla live on. With any luck, you'll be able to join them on a new adventure before the weather even cools off.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So what's in store for the series, from here out?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I can't reveal everything you know. But there are changes afoot. Big ones. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">No, no, I'm not talking about killing off Darla or anything daft such as that. I'm not George R. R. Martin (just look at our sales rankings, that will prove it). I'm not saying what Martin does is wrong or bad -- I'm just saying I don't want anyone finishing one of my books feeling like they just got punched in the face with chunks of a still-warm corpse. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I think there's plenty of room for both styles of storytelling. Which doesn't mean every recurring character in my series is safe -- no, Markhat's world is a dangerous one. But I am stating that when I say 'changes,' I don't mean what so many of us have come to expect, i.e., killing off a bunch of series favorites.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've had enough of that myself. My enthusiasm for The Walking Dead has even begun to dim, because frankly I'm weary of watching the characters I've come to care about get shoved into meat-grinders week after week. Okay, we get it, the show isn't afraid to eat its babies. Hurrah for them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But that doesn't mean I will continue to sacrifice an hour a week to watch what to me is becoming blatant torture-porn. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I grew up reading fiction from a different era, I suppose. Take the Nero Wolfe detective series, all seventy-some books of it. There was a sort of unspoken contract between the reader and Rex Stout, author of the books.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Stout would give us Archie and Nero and the brownstone. There'd be banter and a look inside the complex friendship between the gregarious, outspoken Archie and the reclusive, taciturn Wolfe. We readers would be presented with an intricate clockwork mystery. The clues would be right there in the open. We'd always fail to see them, until Wolfe recounted them at the end. Each tidy resolution was a blast.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But would Lily, Archie's lady friend, wind up slaughtered with a butcher knife? Would Cramer catch a bullet to the back of his thick New York cop head?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">No. That was part of the implied contract. You came back again and again to enjoy the company of certain characters. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Killing them off for shock, to wrench an easy emotional reaction from a fan -- that just wasn't done.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And I won't do it either. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Which isn't to say what's on the horizon for Markhat and Darla isn't profound. It is -- but I'm trying for something more subtle than grief.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I think we've all had enough grief lately.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So that's my big news of the week. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Now, I need to ask a favor. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If you've read a Markhat book, and liked it, and left a review on Amazon, thanks. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If you haven't left a review yet, please, click the link below, then find the book, and leave a review. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's important, now more than ever, and I'll tell you why.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Books with more than 25 reviews, I understand, get picked up by Amazon's 'bots and those are the books that get pushed in the 'You Might Also Like' emails and such. Which sells more books. Simple as that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So here's the link to click. Markhat and Darla would really appreciate it -- they've got a houseboat to maintain, after all...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002E0LUSA">CLICK HERE TO FIND THE MARKHAT BOOKS AND LEAVE A REVIEW</a></span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-9895654818284759832016-06-19T19:36:00.001-05:002016-06-19T19:36:05.816-05:00Ghostbusters<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There are a lot of terrible jobs out there. At this very moment, some poor soul is hosing out a porta-john after a chili festival. Elsewhere, someone is struggling to maintain a smile while some rage-fueled diner demands a full refund because the steak they just ordered and consumed contained (gasp) <em>meat. </em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But my vote for Worst Job of the Week goes to whomever administers the <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.facebook.com/Ghostbusters/" href="https://www.facebook.com/Ghostbusters/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Facebook page</a> for the new Ghostbusters movie.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">You guys and girls know me. I'm a hard-core Ghostbusters fan. I've built my own proton pack, cosplayed a steampunk Ghostbuster. I love the films, I own all the animated episodes, I watch the movies whenever I can. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'll never forget how much fun I had watching Ghostbusters for the first time. It was the perfect blend of humor, science, comedy, and good storytelling. I knew it was a classic within the first three minutes. It was obvious that the right cast met the right script at the right time, and the fusion was sheer magic.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That was 1984. There was a second film, perhaps not as exciting as the first, but still quite good.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">After the second movie, we fans endured years of silence, broken only by the occasional rumor that the fabled GB 3 might finally happen.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It didn't. The feud between Ramis and Murphy, changes in the industry, any number of factors doomed the continuation of the series.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So when I heard about an all-new Ghostbusters reboot, I was thrilled. When I later heard the leads were going to be an all-girl crew composed of SNL alums, I was ecstatic. Who better, I thought, to pick up the mantle and re-tell the story with a fresh new twist?</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But this news of a female GB crew wasn't so well received by everyone.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The backlash on the net was immediate. Purists snarled. Hordes of naysayers emerged, quickly dismissing the film as an abomination before the first trailer aired.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It got ugly. Really ugly. YouTube comments section ugly. The ire spread to Twitter and Facebook and everywhere else, even following the actresses and the director and finally to Ghostbusters grand-master Dan Aykroyd himself, who was viciously attacked for daring to defend the new movie.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Now, most of the detractors will huff and puff and claim misogyny has nothing to do with their palpable hatred of a movie none of them have seen.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Riiiight. I've read the comments, and even the ones that are careful to avoid the appearance of misogyny can't avoid being tainted by its ugly stain.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ghostbusters was a boys' club, and a very vocal segment of fandom isn't happy about letting girls in. Unless of course they serve as romantic interests or comic relief. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'll probably get hate mail for even saying that. But it's okay, because I'll NEVER be forced to deal with the kind of nastiness I've seen directed at the movie via the Ghostbusters Facebook page.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If anyone posts anything enthusiastic or positive about the film, they are quickly shouted down by the detractors. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I can imagine the posts we don't see. The ones that have to be removed.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I truly feel sympathy for the person behind that page. The one who has to read all that hateful spew, all day every day. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's got to be hard on the cast and crew as well. You pour your time and effort, your heart and soul, into a project that is, after all, meant to be fun. It's entertainment, but that doesn't make bringing it to life easier.`</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So you do all that work, and instead of the usual friendly buzz and anticipation, you get a steaming bucket of hateful bile thrown in your face. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That's got to hurt -- and all because there are women in the lead roles?</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What the hell is wrong with people lately?</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I know, I know, it's just a movie. But I think sometimes this undercurrent of irrational rage is a symptom of something far worse, lurking just beneath society's surface like some hungry crocodile. The scary part is this -- we can't see under the water, and we don't know where the crocodile is going to strike next. Maybe it's a movie. Maybe it's a real person, or real people, somewhere. We've seen that too.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There's just too much hate in the air. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Maybe hate starts small. Maybe all those furious online rants are akin to a single miniscule droplet of water, part of a growing dark cloud. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But when enough of those tiny drops come together, we get storms. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Bad storms, that leave wreckage and horror in their wake. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Am I claiming that online nastiness directed at a movie is somehow a driving cause in mass murders?</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">No. Not directly. But I am offering up the proposition that our current environment of vicious online exchanges and the exercise of anonymous fury as the new normal is slowly -- or not so slowly -- desensitizing some people to violence. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's just a thought. I'm sure someone will be quick to point out what a deeply flawed and wholly ridiculous thought it is. And it may well be.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But is there any real defense for such rampant outright mean-ness directed toward strangers on a continual, even relentless basis?</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If there is, I don't see it.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Now, I know many of the people who read this blog. You're nice folks. You've been nothing but friendly and supportive to me, and I am deeply appreciative for that.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In fact, it's you guys who led me to try and say something positive somewhere online every chance I get. To bite my figurative tongue when I feel the urge to show off my sarcasm arm. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I'd like to encourage all of you to do the same. Go say something nice to a stranger. Heck, go to the Ghostbuster's Facebook page and just tell them you liked a trailer. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; margin-top: 22px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Somewhere out there, you might make a weary admin smile. Better still, the dark clouds that hang over us now might shrink, just a tiny bit.</span></span></div>
</div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-1965698941972881862016-06-05T13:39:00.000-05:002016-06-05T13:40:17.675-05:00Behold the Mighty Pear<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm back!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Before I dive, or more precisely slide carefully into, the blog, let me invite you all to tune into a special live talk show tonight, where I'll the guest of host Renee on her weekly radio show, 'Renee LIVE!'</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBqmsiCouFHaE0w0xn9cenx8h_bhyIKOkMeG-qR1ExkzLDcJsq8BFmfTtOOW6OvczDePjMO0Gzd3LDkmbIXYzb3lk9FzJ-e6cUJ8037ShAsyNAfcF9NCpoozboGdtE55EhxyhkNIxxbyU/s1600/Renee+Live.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBqmsiCouFHaE0w0xn9cenx8h_bhyIKOkMeG-qR1ExkzLDcJsq8BFmfTtOOW6OvczDePjMO0Gzd3LDkmbIXYzb3lk9FzJ-e6cUJ8037ShAsyNAfcF9NCpoozboGdtE55EhxyhkNIxxbyU/s640/Renee+Live.jpg" width="496" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Renee is a great host, and a fascinating person, and as long as I keep my trap shut and let her talk it'll be a great show! That's 9 PM Eastern or 8 PM Central, tonight, June 5th. I'll slap some links below:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.tmvcafe.com/#!radio/c1e6o"><span style="font-size: large;">Listen live via the internet by clicking me at 9 PM EST / 8 PM CST from TVM Cafe Radio!</span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.diversitybroadcastingnetwork.com/"><span style="font-size: large;">Listen live via the internet by clicking me at 9 PM EST / 8 PM CST from Diversity Broadcasting!</span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Just browse to either place, then click the 'listen now' or 'play' buttons, and you're there. No fees, so signups. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">What will we be talking about? The usual plugs for my books, which I will keep to a minimum, and lots of paranormal / unusual stuff. It ought to be lots of fun. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So tune in! I've showered, had coffee, shaved my legs. See you there!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, FRANK?</span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Good question. For years, I've been a fanatic about weekly blog postings. But last month, I only made two entries.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My reasons are twofold. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">First, I pulled back from the net for a while. Look, I try to keep things positive and upbeat here. There's enough negativity out there for any five planets, and to be perfectly honest, I got got overwhelmed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I don't have to tell you, especially if you live in the US, how downright mean it's gotten online. Nothing and no one is safe, even people and topics well removed from politics. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">New Ghostbusters movie? Misogyny firestorm. I got actual hate mail for posting something enthusiastic on the Ghostbusters movie Facebook page. Which means a stranger was so incensed by my comment 'Looks great, I can hardly wait to see it' that they took the time to describe, in detail, what a terrible stupid person I am.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Which, by the way, made me chuckle as I hit delete. I'm a writer. My skin is rhinoceros hide covered in Kevlar and topped with a fashionable adamantium sweater vest. I've been savaged by editors, people. Lesser beings don't even leave dents.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But not everyone is so well armored. I got so sick of seeing the vicious back-and-forth exchanges online I just said 'enough' and spent more time with books and music, which are always good company.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It's not just online. You can't watch the news without being smacked in the face with nastiness either. Once upon a time, the phrase 'if it bleeds, it leads' was a joke among journalists.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, it's a business model. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That's Reason One for my temporary social media pullback.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Reason Two is a lot more down-to-earth. Karen and I have been involved in a massive home improvement project. A project of such scope and measure that a crew of four to six really should have been involved, but since there's just us and our band of loyal but thumbless dogs, we've done all the work. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It's nearly killed us both. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The last three Saturdays have been intense 12-hour slugfests outdoors in the infamous Mississippi heat. My back isn't what it once was, which means Karen has done most of the heavy labor. We go out. We work until we simply can't move. We come back in, shower, and then spend Sundays communicating in moans and hand-gestures ('More painkillers, dear?' usually followed by 'Why are we doing this again?'). I tried to write a blog last Sunday, and got as far as 'T' and 'h' before my hands clenched back into fists and I was forced to lie on the floor and cuss for six straight hours.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Good times. But the project is winding down -- another Saturday, maybe two -- and we'll be done, at least until the next one.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I do miss the days when I could have done everything by myself and laughed about it without so much as a wince. But years of office work have rendered me, to put it kindly, pear-shaped, and also possessed of the pear's legendary strength and physical prowess. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But it's getting done, nevertheless. Even lowly fruits can dig 300 foot trenches and haul 100 pound panels long distances by hand, if they must, and in this case, they must. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">In other news, the new Markhat book, Way Out West, is still looking at a summer release.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Oh, and I ran over my beloved laptop. We won't go into the details, since they involve a lot of absent-mindedness on my part, but I do have to give a shout-out to Lenovo. The laptop in question was run over by a Toyota RAV-4, and despite all expectations, it lives. The screen is wrecked, sure, but that's being replaced. The keyboard, hard drives, motherboard, and case all survived intact. Not too shabby, in my opinion.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Don't forget the radio show, and tune if if you can! Both hosts have chat rooms (TMV works best if you have IE), so you can talk along with us, if you want.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">See you tonight, and again next week!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now go hug a puppy or something. Life isn't as horribly vicious as the net might make it seem.</span></div>
Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-33516602765715343782016-05-08T15:29:00.002-05:002016-05-08T15:29:36.719-05:00Putting The Band Back Together<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Finally, some good news.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The folks at Samhain have graciously reverted the rights to WAY OUT WEST, the new Markhat novel bought by Samhain shortly before the shutdown was announced.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Which means the book is mine again, and I'm free to do with it as I will.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">This leaves a couple of options open to me. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I could shop the book around, to agents or publishers. There are a number of advantages to this approach. First, of course, is getting a publisher's marketing and editorial engines behind the book. An agent could maybe get the book on the right desk, and make that happen.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My second best option is to publish WAY OUT WEST myself. With some help, of course.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I'd no sooner try to edit my own book than I would drill my own teeth. I'm a lousy editor of my own work. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But as it happens, my former Samhain Editor, and the former FLE (first line editor), and both now doing freelance work. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So what I've decided to do is hire them, go through the same process we used at Samhain, and put the book out myself. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">You'll be getting the very same book you would have if Samhain was handling it, because the same people are doing the same jobs. I'll be confident we're turning out a really good book. I don't think most readers will even realize the process has seen some changes.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The upside to handling WAY OUT WEST this way is time. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Let's say I pitched WAY OUT WEST around. Months would pass. The wheels of publishing grind slowly. Even if a publisher picked it up, it would probably be middle or late 2017 before the book came out. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That's a long time to wait for the new book in a series.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">By hiring my own editors and cover art, I'll probably have WAY OUT WEST on the stands in June or July. Of this year.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That's the upside.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">If the upside is time, I'll bet you can guess what the downside is.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Money. That's right, filthy lucre. Professionals don't work for free. Nor should they. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I want WAY OUT WEST to be every bit as polished and professional as the Samhain titles were. It will be, because the same team that produced the other titles will be right back at work on the new one. None of the first ten titles were a solo effort, and I've worked too hard and have too much respect for the series to do anything less than the best I can for it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So, for everyone wondering about the future of the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mister-Trophy-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B001CN47NA?ie=UTF8&keywords=markhat%20files&qid=1462738746&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1">Markhat Files</a>, you can look forward to a new book this summer. And of course you can still buy the earlier titles in the series as ebooks right now, and keep buying them until Samhain actually shuts down. I wish you would buy one or two. The longer the lights stay on at Samhain, the better for me and all the other authors sharing the situation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now if a publisher should drop down out of the blue and offer me a deal, I might take it. Might. It would depend entirely on the publisher, and the deal. At the moment, I have complete faith in Holly, my editor, and I'm honestly not even considering the need for a change. To be quite honest, despite the costs, I'm oddly comforted knowing that by doing this myself, I don't have to worry about a publisher closing their doors again. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">If you're a writer in need of an editor with genuine real-world publishing experience, you can find Holly here:</span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB205tly251vBI487y5ML8njKeAqJSBGyvNBizY0BTYAA2CcMmcgNqFlObkjwvkuDAhlZApmJJWTBh7sxtrXdcIaYgyIG60E7nSOVJ4Kd5VIC-CRAbIgCURXw-2Lm1tzgCHqFP0auw-lg/s1600/EvilEyeEditing-fbicon_zpsgyah8afk.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB205tly251vBI487y5ML8njKeAqJSBGyvNBizY0BTYAA2CcMmcgNqFlObkjwvkuDAhlZApmJJWTBh7sxtrXdcIaYgyIG60E7nSOVJ4Kd5VIC-CRAbIgCURXw-2Lm1tzgCHqFP0auw-lg/s400/EvilEyeEditing-fbicon_zpsgyah8afk.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://evileyeediting.com/">EVIL EYE EDITING</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">That's the plan. I thought some of you might enjoy a peek behind the scenes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So what is WAY OUT WEST about?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well, without saying too much, this one involves a long ride on a train. Murder. Magic. More murder. Darla is there, of course, and some new faces, as well as the usual crew.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was a blast to write. I hope it'll be just as much fun to read. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And I'm thrilled that it will be read. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'll post progress reports here along the way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And I'll beg a little bit, too. There is one thing you could do that doesn't cost a dime, and only takes a minute. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you've read any of the other Markhat titles, and you liked them, please consider going to Amazon and leaving a review. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you've already left a review, thanks!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Reader reviews on Amazon play a huge role in whether people see the books or not. 50 seems to be a magic number -- a book with 50 or more reviews winds up featured in those "You might also like this book" emails Amazon sends out from time to time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I know that's true because the Paths books, which have more than 50 reviews each, show up in those emails all the time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So if anyone is so inclined, please just follow the link below, pick any book of mine you're read, and leave a quick review. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It could help the series live on!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mister-Trophy-Markhat-Files-Book-ebook/dp/B001CN47NA?ie=UTF8&keywords=markhat%20files&qid=1462738746&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1">LINK TO MARKHAT BOOKS</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thanks!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6uDAV99De3wrjBOGaMYyNm9fox9Dbb6EkzFSXI_dIPg08DG_1u4kxyVIbLV1TBz_kSQSzRzrpQwPLnSAMboXuK-d_lzM22_o5deGjblypc4iiZZLpYapft-Wy1Xo0u5q13Ch0mYRpwkQ/s1600/DarkerCarnival-The300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6uDAV99De3wrjBOGaMYyNm9fox9Dbb6EkzFSXI_dIPg08DG_1u4kxyVIbLV1TBz_kSQSzRzrpQwPLnSAMboXuK-d_lzM22_o5deGjblypc4iiZZLpYapft-Wy1Xo0u5q13Ch0mYRpwkQ/s640/DarkerCarnival-The300.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5783946470360579823.post-91443039959703743632016-05-05T14:53:00.001-05:002016-05-05T14:53:43.681-05:00Things That Go Bump: Thomas House Edition Report<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm5aSiTp9Kqk1dPm_9DDoUYkpzvkVI_0nEm6y7cp5rOPdgzNqB_nu_m8CtWQf_1C2WBbeErzvyVfS_wsXcJ0oU9Ue7zVTE9HwTodHb5HbGcAG3CTrOudS97ck7Fg8sNtcDI7ZmrkNWx0g/s1600/db1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm5aSiTp9Kqk1dPm_9DDoUYkpzvkVI_0nEm6y7cp5rOPdgzNqB_nu_m8CtWQf_1C2WBbeErzvyVfS_wsXcJ0oU9Ue7zVTE9HwTodHb5HbGcAG3CTrOudS97ck7Fg8sNtcDI7ZmrkNWx0g/s640/db1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thomas House.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Red Boiling Springs, Tennessee. Reputed to be one of the most haunted sites in the US, home to half a dozen colorful ghosts who aren't shy about making their presence known.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That's where I spent last weekend, in the gracious company of Historical Haunts, a TAPS family member group based out of Memphis. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So Frank, you may be asking. Did you see anything? Hear anything? Is the Thomas House actually haunted, or is all the hype merely a mish-mash of publicity and eager amateur ghost hunters mistaking knocking water pipes for poltergeists?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well, have a seat, my inquisitive friends, because answering that question is going to take some time.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsCHf4M5kPdtL2B75y3xJPZNosbuz_D-MCDCfyrLsH7nPCGD54C7anUG5hVQD7z2BbHHh3FhFgpioY_972x_STM0z2TIgHwPb9R3K_x1j7zYTqOrbGTS6VUiwGmETQ8EDjtxAudy76Vtg/s1600/db2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsCHf4M5kPdtL2B75y3xJPZNosbuz_D-MCDCfyrLsH7nPCGD54C7anUG5hVQD7z2BbHHh3FhFgpioY_972x_STM0z2TIgHwPb9R3K_x1j7zYTqOrbGTS6VUiwGmETQ8EDjtxAudy76Vtg/s400/db2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I arrived at the House well-armed with an array of recording gear. My emphasis was on audio, but I had a bit of everything. Here's my gear, laid out on the small second bed in Room 18.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVivIS6wMrjtg0ry39Y5EMW0TYPQ8Wh3PBdeIhQrjRWWmaBUZIL_hk4XGO3zU6dqUUZ8U-NEo5m6AZOAUig-QV64XNK9FGXQPWa5G3-4eD7PfEGqgi0u9bWlt5QxFQMOA35Q4H8mJhIeA/s1600/db3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVivIS6wMrjtg0ry39Y5EMW0TYPQ8Wh3PBdeIhQrjRWWmaBUZIL_hk4XGO3zU6dqUUZ8U-NEo5m6AZOAUig-QV64XNK9FGXQPWa5G3-4eD7PfEGqgi0u9bWlt5QxFQMOA35Q4H8mJhIeA/s640/db3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Parabolic mic and netbook recorder. Magbox and recorder. Tesla radio and recorder. Zoom H1 mic/recorder. Velleman Super Ear and recorder. Ramsey Tri-Field meter. Non-contact temperature gun. Camera. Batteries. And of course the ubiquitous K2.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Did I capture anything with all this gear?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Oh yes. I certainly did. I think the best way to describe my stay at the Thomas House is to proceed in chronological order, incident by incident.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Before I start posting things, though, a reminder. Most of what I captured is audio, and some of it is fairly faint. I can hear everything just fine through the speakers on my PC, but my PC is an old-school tower unit with external speakers. If you're listening on a laptop or a mobile device, the device's tiny speakers may not be able to accurately reproduce the softer sounds. If that's the case, even plugging in and listening through a simple pair of earbuds will present a vast improvement in what.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That said, here we go!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi89XB5nVgwDNPbSEpGWb6EvdSem2RotLzmkL85jeLf1ccJHzEEe0nS8xQtYmWbkYo6DvELnMoD8VA33UtYZYQYisKKl6Tayom7xVQ35-kKkdih5TNz6JiQUWtyVxlHA-FnJ7FXFoF_mFA/s1600/bumper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi89XB5nVgwDNPbSEpGWb6EvdSem2RotLzmkL85jeLf1ccJHzEEe0nS8xQtYmWbkYo6DvELnMoD8VA33UtYZYQYisKKl6Tayom7xVQ35-kKkdih5TNz6JiQUWtyVxlHA-FnJ7FXFoF_mFA/s1600/bumper.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE MOVING BALL</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We arrived at the House around four in the afternoon. The projected five hour drive turned into nearly seven hours after a detour from the Natchez Trace sent us straight into bumper-to-bumper traffic through several middling small towns stretched across the interstate. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We arrived, dumped everything in room 18, and set out to have a quick look around and stretch our legs before unpacking and getting set up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Thomas House is old. Built in 1890, and it shows. Walls bob and weave. Floors creak and doors don't quite shut. Dull painted eyes peer down on you from the hundreds of paintings and old photos that cover every inch of vertical wall space. Even the scale of the place is a reflection of the smaller people of the 19th century. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">One of the House's more famous ghosts is that of Sara, a little girl who died in the hotel in 1920. She'd been brought to the Thomas House to partake of the mineral waters that flow beneath the hotel -- at that time, such hot springs were thought to be a panacea. Sadly, they did nothing for poor Sara, who died after only 3 days there.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs4AUxw2eKhavcHBMeZ6eBF2YrYc-Qs_MtJXsHwm_OzKAYsZdgqEwsZU09qvIEHZLyfYR2U191cJ1DOJtpkmhu0QZ00K4icFprUvATKHgQmNdBAK9Jhcv9P_qLf6UYgXIPqeVuU2BawJ8/s1600/db4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs4AUxw2eKhavcHBMeZ6eBF2YrYc-Qs_MtJXsHwm_OzKAYsZdgqEwsZU09qvIEHZLyfYR2U191cJ1DOJtpkmhu0QZ00K4icFprUvATKHgQmNdBAK9Jhcv9P_qLf6UYgXIPqeVuU2BawJ8/s320/db4.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">At the end of the hall shown above, on the left, is a small sitting room. Sara is said to play along this hall, and in the sitting room. We wound up in that room to take a break and rest a bit. There was already a child's ball there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There were four of us in the room. Mike, Kelly, my wife Karen, and myself. We were all seated. Talking casually. There was no air movement in the room. No one stomping past in the hall. No one striking the floor from below with a jack-hammer. It was quiet and still.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Karen encouraged the spirit of Sara to move the ball. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Like everyone else in the room, I watched.. I wasn't expecting anything. A brightly-lit room, in the early afternoon? It seemed an unlikely place for anything ghostly to commence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So when she said, 'Sara, move the ball,' I wasn't anticipating any movement. Nothing in the environment seemed capable of inducing any kind of motion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Until the ball simply rolled, on its own, half a full revolution.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We all saw it. The floor didn't shake, a passing truck didn't thunder past. The ball simply moved.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I took a photo immediately after this, as I cursed myself roundly for not gearing up when I left the room. So I can offer no video evidence to support my claim -- but like everyone else in that sitting room, I saw the ball move.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTLJh3KaoA1dwBfuNjnQ_f57X2r7V739ievDICGlzC0R6zzemTc9s0hMA8HZs00kPGqdSoHMojAJUyQgYoJ7r8HRYSO32c0QOtlfPS_PPf4E5ThwQLAJw4I-eXhQphZ_ufd6iPCfrA1JA/s1600/db5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTLJh3KaoA1dwBfuNjnQ_f57X2r7V739ievDICGlzC0R6zzemTc9s0hMA8HZs00kPGqdSoHMojAJUyQgYoJ7r8HRYSO32c0QOtlfPS_PPf4E5ThwQLAJw4I-eXhQphZ_ufd6iPCfrA1JA/s640/db5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>MEET HER</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">After a delicious supper (the cook at the Thomas House is extremely skilled), we split into three groups. My group was the first to enter the infamous Thomas House Chapel, which is said to be inhabited by two spirits.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The first is the Reverend Blankenship, the former pastor, who hung himself above the pulpit after he realized years of shady business dealings were about to be exposed. The second ghost is reputed to be that of Miss Polly, a poor homeless woman the church took in as a resident.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We entered the Chapel around 10:30 PM. I had my magbox, my Zoom, my thermal gun, and a so-called 'spirit box.' Karen had the Velleman Super Ear mic.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As we enter, we caught the first EVP. I heard nothing at the time, but on replay, a voice seems to say 'Meet her.' You can listen by playing the YouTube video linked below.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZFoCq2KkmA&feature=youtu.be">MEET HER EVP click here</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Which is strange, but hardly the only strange thing going on at that time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My magbox is a simple but effective machine. A magnetic pickup on a two-foot-long extension rod feeds a sensitive audio amp. It's quite capable of identifying 60 Hz house current and nearby cell phones in use. If noncorporeal entities somehow manipulate EM fields, it could detect that too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was dead silent on the walk to the Chapel. Because we were well away from electrical lines or circuits. As soon as we entered, though, it began picking up the usual 60 Hz hum present in all buildings with electricity. There was a 'dead spot,' about waist high, where the buzz fell to nothing. But that's not unusual.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Unless you consider that the Chapel HAS NO ELECTRICITY. No supply line. Even that was taken down years ago. I didn't know that when I entered. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So what was my magbox finding? Ghost circuits? Some odd localized electric field?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have no idea. I turned the magbox off because the hum was so loud. When we left, a mere hour later, I turned it back on -- to find the new battery was completely drained.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I can't explain that either. I once forgot the magbox. Left it on a headstone in a cemetery in Birmingham. It stayed there running all night, for a total of something like 16 hours, and the battery wasn't drained.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But an hour in the Chapel, in the presence of electricity that wasn't there?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dead.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Anyway. On to the next!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE TELL-TALE HEART</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've used my trusty Zoom H1 mic for years now. It's a sensitive, reliable machine with a truly excellent recorder built in. Musicians and journalists use H1's for recording in the field. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I noticed something strange, though, on the Chapel recording. Present throughout the entire event was a constant, soft noise that my ears didn't hear. As I listened to the recording, though, I kept hearing a dub-dub, dub-dub dub-dub. A sound rather like that of a beating heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I did NOT have the mic in a jacket pocket. It was resting on a table. It is not built to pick up heartbeats from people sitting a meter away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So what the heck is the sound?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have absolutely no idea. You can hear it for yourself below by clicking the link.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kgiMjH3cDw&feature=youtu.be">PULSING BACKGROUND IN CHAPEL click here to listen</a></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>WELL HELLO THERE</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We found chairs in the cramped, junk-filled Chapel, seated ourselves, and the EVP session began in earnest.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNfwPmR_ZS90FrRqZDYh1flWf6fU5zytiKrx7PvjRrL1_DrhYSIxHDafPm_7b_AKT1UFgBhyphenhyphenFgQrHyRplnZDY8cXwU3ostY5SKlSXxvKoVAvnRoHFBh47CPTgRXdNtTfsWwRcw0faOk20/s1600/db6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNfwPmR_ZS90FrRqZDYh1flWf6fU5zytiKrx7PvjRrL1_DrhYSIxHDafPm_7b_AKT1UFgBhyphenhyphenFgQrHyRplnZDY8cXwU3ostY5SKlSXxvKoVAvnRoHFBh47CPTgRXdNtTfsWwRcw0faOk20/s400/db6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I heard nothing at the time, but when a speaker invites any entities present to speak, a faint little voice chirps 'hi.' You can hear it below; the 'hi' is about six seconds into the clip.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QApWXjy5mWY&feature=youtu.be">HI FROM CHAPEL Click here to listen</a></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE TOUCH</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Many visitors to the Thomas House report being touched.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I myself was not touched. But Karen, my long-suffering wife, was touched not once but twice during our session in the Chapel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">She described both events thusly: First, a sudden rush of extremely cold air, approching from behind. Followed immediately by a cold touch on the back of her neck, moving from just above her collar to her hairline, as though a cold fingertip stroked her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I quickly inspected the area for anything that might have hung down or reached in from the side. In both cases, the area was clear. No cobwebs, no hanging lamp cords, no bric-a-brac in the vicinity. The chairs all had low backs. And it was way too cold for bugs of any sort.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I had 3 mics running at the time. My Zoom. The recorder on the magbox -- yes, the magbox was switched off, but the onboard digital recorder was still recording via its own internal mic. And she had the Velleman Super Ear. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">All three of the mics picked up a faint whisper spoken by parties unknown shortly after the second touch. All three mics. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let's start by listening to the entire second touch incident, recorded on my Zoom. The whisper is very faint, about 35 seconds into the recording. You'll hear us discuss the touch, hear me verify nothing is near, hear someone say 'there's nothing around here,' and finally you'll hear a woman add 'that we can see.' Then, if you have headphones or loud speakers, you'll hear a faint rustling whisper. Don't worry, the next video contains an amplified looped whisper. But I wanted you to have the full context before I present that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilMXBQT0cic&feature=youtu.be">SECOND NECK TOUCH INCIDENT click here to listen</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I listened to all three recordings, from all three mics. I isolated the whisper, added some amplification. Then I combined all three recordings onto the same track. What you'll hear below is a looped recording from the Olympus recorder, followed bny a loop from the Velleman, and finally a loop from the Zoom. It sounds like someone is whispering "He's coming out the door."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n8jGByGOKc&feature=youtu.be">WHISPER AFTER TOUCH click here to listen</a></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">THE CONFERENCE ROOM</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We spent about an hour in the Chapel. Later, several of us moved to the hotel's conference room. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin8mnNY55_OuZS8ugUR9xzyLsvcZEtEvFL7W9WXp2wncvAWqs8c2cp_WJHmtNUlXege6b6J33ZbFsrTM0lZdBhEvO6fa5kvpyLAUL07bauizE5HyrBthlvvlKxy4ynsFTfdA50r3ZIar4/s1600/db7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin8mnNY55_OuZS8ugUR9xzyLsvcZEtEvFL7W9WXp2wncvAWqs8c2cp_WJHmtNUlXege6b6J33ZbFsrTM0lZdBhEvO6fa5kvpyLAUL07bauizE5HyrBthlvvlKxy4ynsFTfdA50r3ZIar4/s640/db7.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Note the door on the left side of the image frame. See the panes of glass that make up the door. That will be important later.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We seated ourselves around the table. By now, it is well after midnight. An EVP session is begun -- at one point Stephen mentions that the 'door is open,' speaking metaphorically, because that door is actually closed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But I suppose something wants in, because after we've been in there about 15 minutes the door begins to rattle and shake. You can easily hear the noise in the clip below. Our reactions are also there, as Sarah, seated at the head of the table with a clear view of the door, reports no one is there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZjO-0WARDA&feature=youtu.be">RATTLING DOOR Click here to listen</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What made the door move?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I don't know. Something did, but it couldn't be seen. I can offer nothing in the way of physical explanations.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That wasn't the last conference room event, either. None of us hear anything after the door rattle. The REMpod beeps and boops, as the temperature in the room fluctuates. But no one is touched, and aside from the door nothing moves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Toward the end of the session, Sarah notes that 'it seems very still now.' Maybe not so much, because the Velleman mic caught a single word from nowhere, that seems to say 'repent.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQCoLIlmH4k&feature=youtu.be">REPENT Click here to listen to the unaltered audio</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Odd, especially in light of Kevin's own visit to the Chapel, in which he spoke about forgiveness, hoping to offer the Reverend some comfort. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Below is the word again, this time amplified.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un_CJSECuwM&feature=youtu.be">REPENT amplified. Click here to listen. </a></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzxLYZrUa7momNLWCYbSax02IP0gc4MAXhS4-bonOXRR_kMQJvmCT9OTUrhuelFFZdbqTQ1u01peIJcI6i4tnGOcaH_Ui53u4nBaE6Fr9sChi2vt5zRtFK5ycs0zsrH5D2T7M2I1Dup7w/s1600/bumper.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE SLEEP MACHINE</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Once upon a time, I worked nights. I lost count of the number of days I worked until the sun rose. I was a night owl's night owl.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But those days are long gone. By 3:00 AM, I was barely able to function. So I took to my bed -- my tiny, tiny bed, which, of course was haunted.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The story is that the tiny second bed in Room 18 was once owned by PT Barnum. It was one of two beds that were said to disturb occupants by shaking all during the night.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I volunteered to sleep in the bed, and I did, but honestly the thing could have launched me through the roof and halfway to Nashville and I doubt I;d have noticed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Nevertheless, the Thomas House wasn't done with us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Karen brought along a noise machine, because I snore. I know, shocking, but it's my one flaw. So she retired to the slightly larger, possibly less haunted bed in the main bedroom and fired up her sleep machine while I collapsed onto the PT Barnum bed and waited for the poltergeist to arrive. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The door between bedrooms was open. I heard the steady hiss of the sleep machine start up, heard her go to bed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A few minutes later, the sleep machine went off. Came back on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This was repeated three times. I wondered why she was fiddling with the thing, could hear her get up and down, but I was too exhausted to comment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Unknown to me, Karen wasn't turning the sleep machine off. It turned itself off, three times, forcing her to get up and turn it back on. On the third and final time, she says she told whatever was causing the machine to turn off that she was very tired, and would it please stop playing with the machine?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It did. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I may have audio of this. I left my parabolic mic running in the small bedroom. But since I took so many mics, and I have a day job and I am trying to finish a new book, I haven't had time to process the audio from the parabolic yet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But it happened. I heard it, she witnessed it. Something caused the sleep machine to shut itself off three times, and the phenomena stopped when asked to stop.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Make of that what you will.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">SUMMARY</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I witnessed strange events at the Thomas House. I saw a child's toy ball move, without apparent cause. I witnessed inexplicable equipment malfunctions. I recorded a number of anomalous sounds and voices.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And I haven't even finished processing all the audio. But what was captured, and what I saw, is sufficient to convince me the Thomas House is home to activity that defies mundane explanation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I will of course continue to analyze my remaining audio, from both the Tesla radio (which spent the entire night on the porch) and the parabolic, which was stationed by the shaking bed in Room 18. Any further events of interest will be displayed here. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thanks for reading! Thanks as well to Stephen, Tanya, and Kevin of Historical Haunts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Stay spooky, people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">--Hamlet, Shakespeare</span><br />
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Frank Tuttlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12616081180280318863noreply@blogger.com0